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What Research Participants in the Group Say About The 45 Days Challenge: 

What Recent Research Participants
Say In Their Own Words: 

"The best meditation program I’ve ever done. Nothing else has compared to this program, I would highly recommend it without any hesitation.”

“I really felt a profound gratitude and connectedness to everything. I was struck about how fast that happened. That was really quite extraordinary. There was a dramatic reduction in my self chatter. How targeted and focused the whole approach was, was really quite amazing. The best meditation program I’ve ever done. Nothing else has compared to this program, I would highly recommend it without any hesitation.”

Brad Hendricks
“I had my first experience of non-duality, and that word really doesn’t even do justice to what that feels like.”

Joan Sumner 
"My favorite part was that this program allowed me to be out in the world living, and still really have some profound experiences."

“The exercises and meditations were very new. It was completely do-able, I felt very supported. Experiencing the awareness exercises with others, just made it all seem more natural. The mediations were really easy to work with, really engaging. My favorite part was that this program allowed me to be out in the world living, and still really have some profound experiences. The nuances of recognizing, and what to do with it, are so helpful for deepening. I’m so happy I did the 45 days.”

Tonette Ross
"You feel like the inner peace is integrated into your daily life."

“Doing the 45 days program at home made it so much easier to integrate the experience into my daily life, as opposed to come back from a retreat and losing that peak experience as I got “hit with reality” again. You feel like the inner peace is integrated into your daily life.“

Jamie Thomson
"I found the course to be amazingly effective."

"I was so impressed with the organization of the different technologies, the different meditation techniques, and how, Jeffery had woven the different meditation techniques and ideas into a real step-by-step, comprehensive, build ... until you just came to that pop place where you could have exactly what the course is designed for, that really amazing shift in your perspective where all of a sudden you're just like, "Oh. Oh my God, I'm not who I thought I was. Oh my God, things now make sense. Oh, I feel so relaxed and so peaceful." 

Cate Montana
"It's just unbelievably valuable...."

"It's just unbelievably valuable.... it's really obvious to see that the team very much loves what they put together and is really committed to helping other people arrive at fundamental wellbeing as well."

Cat O'Donnel 
"I can't believe the value I got from this course, and it's going to last me a lifetime!"

"The big thing for me about the 45 Days Challenge was the clarity. Jeffery's research made the path to Finding clear for me, and the way he executed it within the 45 Days Challenge was flawless. I can't believe the value I got from this course, and it's going to last me a lifetime!"

Cian Kenshin
"I didn't even know this level of peace and resiliency was possible."

"I didn't even know this level of peace and resiliency was possible. So much has happened over these past weeks that I should be freaking out about. With Jeffery's course I can truly say I've found it. I get to sit back and be at peace, no matter what is going on out there in the world."

Stephanie Jaie

What Previous Research Participants Say About Their Experiences In Their Own Words 

(note: their comments have been anonymized because they were collected confidentially during academic research)
“I'm calmer now, less reactive, my sleep quality has improved, my occasional tantrums are way less frequent, I feel I'm more compassionate, less talkative and my mind is a lot calmer and silent now. I'm less reactive and my mind wanders a lot less. I'm not a victim of my mind's ramblings anymore, despite some inertial behavior that I think will take time to disappear. Most of the time, I feel I'm a part of a bigger Self. My individual identity is still there, but with a lot less strength. What I learned during the course is still working in the background, along with my spiritual practices, to dissolve what is left of a separate / dual self. I see life as something that is happening and over which I don't have any control whatsoever. A sense of deep peace and contentment, not bound to any external stimuli or reward. Needing a lot less. Just being at peace with what is. Not being so reactive and influenced by what happens in the physical world or even in the mental one! I would say you start to feel the world as it is, without interference from your mind. Perhaps I'd describe it as "The Deep Silence". The World is what it is. My girlfriend is relieved, since she said after I started the course and when I transitioned, she felt I was liberated from a heavy weight. Fear is almost gone, aside of certain bouts of panic caused by inertial thoughts and conditioning.I'm generally more patient now, but still sensitive to certain thought patterns from the past, since they take time to dissolve. I'm now way more relaxed and laid back. I just do what needs to be done and nothing else. Less worry and more "beingness". Less stressed out and more observant. Nothing you can do / think / plan will change it. Everything will happen on its own accord. Enjoy the Ride!”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 46 , Colombia



“Sensory input is stories made from vibrations. There's a space of infinite possibilities. The notion that non-PNSE people are insipid is just a story. There is beauty and nothing in everything. The experience can be tuned for love by paying attention to what comes up, especially resistance in the residual personality. We are highly suggestible and so positive words help. Meeting people and being completely present with what's arising is the practice. Flow and openness versus apparent effort and will. Enhanced ability to be fully present for what is coming up. It seems quite helpful. What seem to be the senses are focused around what seems to be a body. The senses do not seem to be able to perceive from the apparent viewpoint of, say, the couch (and if this occurs this seems to be merely a concept anyway). So it is convenient sometimes, for purposes of bodily movement and interaction to note that there is a difference. But simultaneously there is no apparent felt or sensed difference between the body and the couch. Things (including formerly-personal things) just seem to be arising in the sensory field, though all these things seem to be arising out of nothing, if the brain traces them to their origin. However, this is also a concept and so is held loosely, as all concepts (including the notions of dual and non-dual) seem to be. Memories of the past usually do not arise unless someone asks a specific question, though sometimes it is surprising when a recounting of a memory suddenly comes out of my mouth in the midst of a conversation. Memories have not had emotional content for some time now. There is the perception that they probably used to provoke emotions or have some emotions attached to them, but now it is like watching a movie with the sound off if the memories come up. The same is true for dreams -- some sort of watching/monitoring/meditating seems to be happening while the body sleeps, and when dreams happen they play themselves out without emotions arising. L4 took several weeks or perhaps months to adjust to, since it was quite different that what had gone before. But after perhaps nine months it began to seem as though the experience had always been that way. Even now, despite having journals, it is difficult to imagine that the experience has been anything other than it is right now. The present moment is the most amazingly perfect and delightful gift. There actually seems to be no giver and no receiver; the notion of a gift seems a mere fabrication, as do the concepts of the present, perfection, and delight. It is easier to be a person, though, since the attachments to personality seem to have fallen away. There seems to be an increased openness and almost a relaxation that occurs when I meet someone. Sort of like the body and brain embrace the person fully as he or she is showing up in that moment, in that encounter. Something that could be called a delight, a curiosity, a sense of adventure and discovery comes up but this is not experienced as an emotion. This, I think, is a relatively new development because there was a lot of deconditioning that was going on after the shift to L4 and so there was a long period of adjustment to lacking an "emotional compass" that seemed formerly to guide human interactions in some fashion. Fear does not seem to arise. Sometimes the body seems to get excited about something -- epinephrine release -- such as when a car accident occurred. There was stillness and space, time appeared to slow while the body performed actions that seemed to minimize damage to the car and to the body itself, and then the heart rate increased and there was a noticeable activation throughout the body. At the same time, there was an almost overpowering experience of "all things are made of love," a warm embrace, and a heightened sense of the interconnectedness of all apparent things. But when things settled this was noted to be just concepts that were arising, and attachments did not seem to form to the concepts. There seemed to have been much stress in the years prior to PNSE, but that seems to have dropped away. There was a period of apparent burnoff of residual stress which was particularly marked following the shift to L4. It was noted that in the body would arise what felt like a stress reaction but without any external stimulus. The brain did not pick up the bait, so to speak, and it was noted that the reaction would fade away of its own accord. By simply watching this occur with fascination, the reactions stopped happening after several weeks/months. Regarding work, there seems to have been a lot of burning off of old patterns and conditioning, particularly related to my training. So now it just seems as though things flow. A few months ago there was a slight flourishing of a residual trigger, but it was like a slim ghost that materialized and then evaporated in a vast field of spaciousness. Work-related triggers have not seemed to arise since that time. No one seems to be doing or being. There seems to be a gradual relaxation of everything, especially of knowing. There is a heightened attentiveness to what is coming up, and a sense of adventure that pervades each moment.”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 44 , California, United States



“I am much less reactive, less depressed. I am not fooled by negative thoughts to nearly the same degree as before. I am less touchy, both in my personal relationships and at work. I am less fearful and anxious about outside events. I feel love much more strongly and consistently (a generalized, non-attached kind of love). I am less guarded around strangers in my daily interactions. I am also MUCH more connected to my physical body than I ever was before. To my astonishment, I go on average to 5 classes/week at the gym (mostly spinning and resistance training). If you had told me a year earlier that I'd go to a 2-hour spinning class at 8am on Thanksgiving morning, I would have looked at you crosseyed! I have a less rigid picture of who "I" am, and I'm less attached to my old ideas about how "I" act, dress, etc. I am not nearly as neurotic as I used to be. Much less negative self-talk. I am also much more physically active. I am more blunt and less circumspect in my speech. I don't worry quite as much about what people might think of me. I also feel more love towards others, particularly towards acquaintances and strangers. I am no longer uncertain about the path. I know that awakening is real and that I am only at the beginning of my progression into it. I am much less prone to follow critical/judgmental trains of thought. The words "I love you" spontaneously pop into my head dozens or even hundreds of times a day. Usually it's just the words, though, and not an abiding felt sense of love -- this is why I categorized myself as Location 1 rather than Location 3. I've only had very brief experiences of non-duality. These have at least convinced me of the truth of that state, but I am nowhere near stable in it. I therefore don't consider myself non-dual, but I know I'm headed in that direction. I have talked about PNSE with some family members, sometimes to discover that they've been in it for years without realizing it. For example, my father has been in Location 1 possibly since before I was born, and my brother-in-law has spontaneously experienced Location 2 on-and-off without context for years. I describe PNSE in terms of fundamental well-being and OK-ness. Sometimes I refer to a deep silence or inner peace. I describe feelings of contentment that had previously been out of reach. Before my transition, I sometimes found myself dreaming about nearly reaching some long-sought goal or sense of completeness, only to have it slip out of grasp as I awoke, leaving me an aching sense of near-miss. After my transition, I could finally experience and abide in that state I'd been longing for. Work is fine (in spite of my notable bluntness). My marriage to another Finder is doing well, and we are much less likely to take things personally when we disagree. My friendships are in good working order, and I'm still getting along with my old college friends (who are not interested in spirituality, etc.). I wish I had known more clearly that O.N.E. can fade pretty deeply into the background, to the point where you might even think you'd fallen out of it. I also wish I'd known going into the course what temporary NSE looks like. Before my transition, I worried that I wasn't "wired" for PNSE because I'd never (to my knowledge) experienced even temporary NSE. But, looking back, there was a period a year earlier where I was definitely in temporary NSE (Locations 1 and 3). If I had known that during the first part of the course, I would have saved myself a lot of grief and worry! To be specific, there was a period of a few weeks in 2015 where I felt like the mean voice in my head was really just an old recording and not some all-knowing oracle. I felt much lighter and happier during that period, as in Location 1. I also experienced waves of strong love and gratitude, like the time we drove past an ordinary self-storage facility (cinder block construction and corrugated metal roofs) and I felt overwhelmed by how much love and care went into its construction. Again, this was a year prior to taking the Finders Course, during which I believed I'd never once experienced even temporary NSE! I have less fear, but it is not completely eradicated. I have always received good reviews at work, but this year was my best review ever. ”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 48 , Vermont, USA



“This is hard to really pin down how my life has gotten better. in L1, and then even moreso in L2, I seem to be able to tackle really, really subtle conditioning related to disordered attachment, relational trauma, etc., much based on my relationship with my mother. As layer after layer of this conditioning has released, even while staying in basically the same location (again, I had one major shift over the past few years, and several more minor ones deeper into L2), my experience has become progressively more joyful and free. This is as true in my psyche as it is in my body, as relates to patterns of energetic and somatic contraction. My snse of self is subtle, pervasive, boundless joy. Less triggered, better emotions, less sticky shitty emotions. It has also relaxed the sense of needing to get anything else, which is really nice. Any event-experience is one with the knowing of that event-experience, as a screen and the light are one image. I want to de-mystify the experience, and make it clear that it's a perfectly natural and human attainment. As an Integral dude, I also think Integral Consciousness basically doesn't exist without NSC, so whenever that comes up I talk about it. I think I have an accurate sense of my life pre-PNSE. I've seemed to go through cycles: 'wake-up/ deepen,' (wonderful period) adjust (new normal), then 'dig up shit' (really crappy) then 'new normal' again with a golden tint to it, then wake up/ deepen a little more. Now, things are okay and work out. I'm more empathic in certain ways, less of a narcissist. I have more close relationshipts. I think I'm indirectly responsible for about 10 people's PNSE at this point :) friends, acquaintances, any one on FB who asks. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 37 , Belgium



“My life has gotten exponentially better in myriad ways. The vast majority of fear has disappeared from my mind. I have not had fears related to being alone, gendered fears such as being attacked if Im walking around at night in safe neighborhoods, I havent worried about my health or been concerned with life going any particular way. I dont worry or even think about what other people think of me anymore. I have more internal resources to draw from because my mind isnt as busy, even when Im making it busy with school, kids, life, etc. I feel completely in alignment with my purpose in life and am able to make decisions more clearly because of the clarity of this alignment. I have a very high degree of well-being. It's distinctly different than before. I have lost all tolerance for anything that compromises my PNSE, and that's brought many changes. I have gotten divorced, started a new relationship (he's at about a location 2 also), moved out from my house with my remaining kids at home (all boys, very rowdy and reliant on me which became an even bigger issue after the FC), I moved in with my boyfriend, I started and quit a Chinese medicine program, I pulled my kids out of private school so I could conserve money and not drive and relax about their school requirements, and I've stopped hanging out with almost all my friends. I am so happy. Even if I have a fight with my boyfriend and re-identify enough to where I'm crying, I am still 100% sure I am doing great and will be happy no matter what, with or without anybody else. I fluctuate between Locations 2, 3 and 4, but have been mostly nondual for the past month and a half. I'd describe it as always knowing that this self that I am operating through is from the same source as all other phenomena. No matter what happens, I can't erase it. I have less emotions and sometimes no real emotions. I visually see things as the same as me sometimes, sometimes I can watch my mind undoing the separation into duality. Nobody could convince me otherwise. Sometimes the world looks so large and I am unable to operate in any normal way. I can't drive at this time, or barely hold a conversation. When I'm like this I can meditate for hours and hours and not feel like any time has passed. I do not share it outside my family. My kids all know because they've been brought up with the concept of emptiness. My older daughter already had major breakthroughs in realizations of no self, and my older son has had nondual experiences. My younger children can hold their own in a group awareness exercise as well as anyone. My ex-husband transitioned after I did, and my boyfriend has been on the continuum for years. I have old friends from my previous sangha in the FC alum, so pretty much everyone in my life is on the continuum or will be soon. I find it hard to have honest conversations with other people for more than a few minutes and pretend I believe in a self or that I'm upset about things that I'm not. I don't feel I have time to waste on meaningless talk either, so I just don't associate with most people I used to. I can accurately recall what it was like, and I have also acclimated to PNSE so it's pretty background and not as novel as it was initially. It happened after about a month and a half to two month. I've used therapy throughout my adult life, so I have actively engaged with my emotions enough to remember very vividly what it was like before. I thought I would have less challenges with "growing up" and "cleaning up". I thought it would be more self perpetuating, but I find I have to curate my days still to support my PNSE. In other ways it surpasses my expectations because I didn't realize how profoundly it would affect every corner of my mind. The most valuable lesson is to accept whatever is unfolding and stay in the no-self, no-other frame of mind as the main anchor. I can be more honest with everyone about what I need. It was easy to compromise myself to help others before, and now I feel I can do what I need to do to support my PNSE as the highest priority, and that demonstrates to others what that looks like and how this can be a highest priority. My boyfriend has been in PNSE for over a decade but hasn't prioritized it, but he sees me prioritizing it and he starts feeling happier. My kids see that it is the most important thing in the world to me, even greater than them and probably because they are pretty special beings and have grown up with Buddhism, they see this as consistent behavior. I'm also less reactive, completely unconcerned with what other people think of me, and I'm more careful with money now because I want to protect myself for later stages when I go deeper and need to not work. My kids can see I'm happier too. I just don't try to get close to anyone new anymore. I doubt I will form any new friendships with anyone who isn't on the continuum. I couldn't volunteer at my kid's private school, so I don't know how that will now that they're at the public school. We'll see. Everything else is pretty much the same, other than divorcing one man and entering a domestic partnership with another, both of whom I met at the same time. It feels more like a swap than a "new relationship." I had already cut out relationships with extended family. My friends don't see me anymore, which is the only change. I can't tolerate some movies and tv at all. I just can't do it. I can't stand listening to news either. This comes up with my boyfriend. At first I just tolerated the shows and I had to reteach myself to watch them so I could just be with him and not be so condemning. With time I've become a lot more selective about what I'll tolerate, and I rarely watch it with any engagement. It's a compromise, but one I'm willing to make for him who I feel is an extension of me. I have a lot of nondual feelings and experiences with him. I have not done anything for my kids that I don't want to do outside the house. I used to take them to a lot of activities and I don't now. I have taken them to one activity in the past 8 months. They're fine and surviving well. Less matters. So much of parenting revolves around the stories of what a "good" mother or child is, and what a "good" way to live and "good" life is. Now I don't really believe in any of it and I also don't believe in cause and effect anymore except in an illusory way, so I'm a lot more relaxed about them now. ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age , Oregon, USA



“I seem to have integrated at a deeper level the fundamental okayness of everything. My separate human existence is supported by the hum of eternity more consistently. I cannot find in me any anxiety that I might lose my felt connection to that which does not change. That doesn't mean that I couldn't shut down and disconnect. Anything can happen. I'm just not concerned about it. As a result, I think I am enjoying my human life even more. I think I am more fully engaged with it, I am allowing myself a richer range of emotions (why not? they pass away quickly). I have a huge sense of freedom inside. I can remember in the past sometimes feeling pushed around by what was happening in life around me. I now seem to have a solid confidence in my ability to choose how I respond to life, what I do in life. I do not have a sense of self per se. I have a personality, formed by my human history and experiences that have created preferences and tendencies. I feel most "myself" when my sense of those preferences and tendencies is the faintest. I feel most myself when I feel the river of life and eternity flowing through me - so when my personality is the most in the background. I have had multiple shifts of awareness over my lifetime (a childhood full of epiphany moments and awe, struck by the Holy Spirit at 16, a major awakening in my late 40s). I do not know when I transitioned to PNSE (I don't see it as a transition. It is a waking up to what we already are.). I always had a vague sense of oneness although I didn't have any context for it, or even the vocabulary to talk about it. My life became driven by a need to more fully experience (and understand) oneness after the awakening in my late 40s. After that point, my life revolved for many years around spiritual practice. I gradually focused more on integrating spiritual practice with human life. Then I mostly dropped spiritual practice to just live . I had gained enough confidence in my ability to retain connection to the unchanging so I could more fully enjoy what changes. Then last spring (2017), while I was taking the Finders Course, I had a prolonged perception of oneness which seems to have released another layer of existential fear because I now feel even greater freedom, ease, comfort with human life. Confidence in connection/oneness creates freedom of choice. Accepting what is and freedom to choose are two sides of the same coin. Both feel like love. I look out from stillness instead of looking in at confusion. In the stillness is peace. Peace needs nothing so peace is happiness. In the stillness is clarity. In clarity is the understanding of oneness. In oneness is love. From that love flows kindness. Kindness acknowledges and supports connection, even in those who lack awareness. In stillness I find kindness. Kindness is my life purpose. My gratitude for having life purpose is indescribable. A vitally alive stillness, open, boundless, that seems to hold the resonance of laughter and the feeling we call love. ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 64 , NH, USA



“I have gotten a lot more adept at letting things be and not resisting reality. I am enjoying my life now. I am both aware of a separate self that tells stories about the nature of reality and who it is, and an awareness behind the separateness. I just am. The main things that are different are: 1. that I am no longer suffering and 2. I can become aware of awareness whenever I find peace is retreating. For the most part I have stopped resisting life. I am aware of the stories that my mind tells me and I just watch them, I don't engage with them. Sometimes I do, though. One thing I've learned is that people are not interested in hearing about this. I've tried talking about it, but most of the time people's eyes glaze over and they consider it unattainable. I feel like I've always been this way but then I remember how I used to feel in the past and see the contrast. I think I can accurately recall it because I re-experience it whenever I get triggered. It's like I used to live in one giant trigger all the time. I had some pretty lofty ideas about what PNSE would be like. I thought I'd experience miraculous synchronicities all the time and be in a state of unending bliss. Maybe later locations experience those things, but not where I'm at. The most valuable lesson is learning to look at what really IS, not what I think. I have a better relationship to work -- not needing what I do to validate who I am. The same is true with my relationships. They are all pretty harmonious right now. Everything you need is already here. Fear is still very much a part of my existence but my relationship to it has changed. I notice that I still have a default reaction of resisting it and strive to accept it. One one hand, I don't always have a strong preference for what to do or not and will go along with what other people want to do just because I don't have a better idea. On the other hand, when I do have a strong preference I am less willing to go along with something I don't want to do than I used to be. Yes, I have made some major decisions that have moved my life in the direction I wanted to but didn't feel like I could before. I moved to another state and my business benefited greatly from the new location. I am teaching a lot less and enjoying the flexibility and freedom of being self employed. I am not one of those over-working types. I have become almost entirely self-employed, so I create my schedule as I see fit. I am much more relaxed and stress-free. I am extremely grateful to Jeffery and the FC. Three years have passed since I took the course and my lifetime of suffering has ended. I feel a little guilty sometimes, like I should be suffering and I should be more motivated, but I am enjoying things and don't dwell on it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 50 , Colorado, USA



“i have a new steady and a new automatic that is aligned with my goals, values and purpose. it is dynamic and allows me to shift and expand and evolve with each experience. the experience has also revealed some uncleared emotional sludge. my sense of self shifts with my attention: when i inspire through this mind, i am intelligent and curious. when i inspire through this body, i am alive. when i inspire through this heart, i am boundlessly capable. my sense of self is where i put my breath and my consciousness. and, then there is 'this', when there is no sense of self and there is just stillness. i am steady. we have had 2 deaths in our immediate family and i am steady and present for the many gifts of each experience. i am more tempered with my family - less triggered and more connected. i am feeling much emotional regulation and fluency. i am comfortable resting in 'me' ... and my writing is more directed. the benefits are beneficial to overall well-being. the mind training, awakening and growing up have contributed positively to my state of mind and the quality of my experiences. i am more compassionate with myself and this has positively affected my relationships. non-dual feels like alchemy and magic: nothing is what it appears - it can be shifted...transformed - transcended through the mere action of shifting attention, bringing space into it, letting go etc. and, there is a sense of freedom and oneness, splendor and possibility that arises when we relieve, the object/concept/subject of it's meaning - of what it is supposed to be or do - when we become liberated from the thought. there is a point of view - a center -that defaults with this openness - that there is no separation between any phenomenon - that we are all one and we are boundless. this understanding/knowing allows for the expansion of god consciousness and through the awareness of our interconnectedness, it will change our choices and it is what will serve our earth and our humanity. to be honest, i had no expectations of pnse/one. i signed up for the course because i was lead to it and i trusted that there was something here for me and there was. i no longer get triggered by silly things -traffice, words etc. - and i believe inthe power of subtle energy ... these thoughts, these beliefs, these words send ripples out in the world. my ripples are thoughtful and generous and loving. my relationships are closer than ever because i have relaxed and rested into oneness. in the beginning, the mind tries to separate us by noting who doesn't believe, who is sleeping etc. once i defaulted to pnse, there was none of that ... it is what it is and there is only now and so, i will embrace all of this now. that's it. i experienced much fear before pnse, mostly attached to my identity and writing. it was quite a ride during the course, with some muck still needing a little purge, but, overall, i am steady. i do not fear the past, i do not fear the future and when i am here, it is impossible for fear to exist. i have noticed the voice inside that gets triggered by my husband. i no longer snap at him with that voice. i allow it it rise, i notice it and i come back to the present. pnse allows me to default to a relational space and has improved all my relationships. my late-teen children have been affected by the behavior and practice that i am modeling. it has helped my oldest with his college transition immensely. my career and business have flourished. the fading of fear has opened space for tremendous possibility and the seeds that i planted before the class began to awaken. blessings for this course. ”

Location 3, Female
Research Program Participant, age 53 , New Jersey, USA



“I'm less triggered, less aggressive, much more peaceful, less story, less interpretation of people's actions. there is no moment of "day dreaming" anymore - everything I do I'm completely aware of. there still is a personality but it's not as dominant as it used to be. I feel much freer. I'm not afraid anymore, but there are still patterns like procrastination at work. It it even harder with my kids sometimes, when they want something, like to play with me, to keep my peace. Strange. It's the need for quiet, I guess. Motivation to work is still low. My father died last week and I could see and feel both sides in me - sadness and relief - and be totally OK with both. Everything is better. And what's not better doesn't matter. I like to use the expression of the narrative self being quieted. Everyone understands - because they know from experience - that there is a little voice in their heads. I just ask them "What if it was gone? Would you like that if this was possible?" In German one way to call it is "Kopfkino" - cinema in the head. The next questions then are a.) isn't that boring and b.) can you still think about stuff? (meaning: are you stupid now? :-)) But those are easy to answer: no, it's quiet and peaceful and yes, I'm still able to solve problems. It's the new normal. It's actually quite unspectacular. It also came gradually. I can recall everything from before it, except the unheaval that occured, the importance of the story. I thought it to be more spectacular, especially its coming. It was a little bit of the notion of ""happily everafter" :-))) I also did not expect it to be so exciting in the sense of so much stuff to learn and to do and to explore! I'm in the middle of the AC right now and I find it most exciting! I used to do Reiki and Lightbody (energy work) but this is new now - Now I ""KNOW"" what I'm doing. My most important lesson has been that - in the end - I could experience everything that I had read about before and had only understood it conceptually. That peace is real. I hardly expect others to meet my needs. And I can meet theirs with much more ease, pleasure, and willingness. It's funny that even the others project less of their stuff on me! There is much less conflict in relationships. All in all there is much more LOVE in my relationships. My wife and I still struggle sometimes. She's my no.1 trigger. But that has also improved. I'm less fearfull of being hurt or disappointed by people. I am able to give my kids much more attention. And I am less strict with them (not that I was super strict before). But sometimes I need my time off and if they are aroung then I get stressed with them. I can see the purpose of my work more. and I've beome much more creative with doing projects. I'm just not so good at bringing them into form. There is a lot of stuff I want to delegate. ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 53 , Switzerland



“I am usually fully satisfied with life as it is. I take time to be with my loved ones much more than before. My ambitions are gone for myself but they are slowly emerging as something I want to see manifest in the world. People that know me well say it is qualitatively different being around me, the feel much more at ease which makes me happier too, or my ego that is, so life is easier in that regard. If I really stop then I identify with consciousness that is the only thing that is and ever has been and/or will be. Day to day I identify more as a soul that is having this body for a short time. I live a soul life now that is very different from what I used to have so in a sense I feel that I live in two worlds, one of physical reality, other of soul reality but all of them are grounded in the one consciousness that is all there is really. I was most likely in location 1 when I came into the program and probably had been for quite some time. What has changed is that I had and awakening "experience" during the program that changed me forever. Now I know first hand that all is consciousness and that is always a source of unlimited happiness. I also have a much greater sense of energetic flow in my body which I am learning both to handle, use as an information giver and how to manipulate. Living is much more dynamic in a sense but I have a hard time organizing myself now and I am learning how to do that given all this freedom. I can also just be happy staring out the window at the sky for hours on end. What joy, peace, gratefulness! Freedom! All is Consciousness! Ultimately I am no other than everything that has ever existed and not existed. I do not really share much of this. I have tried but most people have no reference. When I meet people that are awakened then there is sharing happening. I guess this is the new normal, that is Loc2 rather than Loc1 even though I am still adjusting in some sense. I did get hypnotized and went into former lives and then I got very upset and cried over love etc. but that was so surprizing because those feelings do not occur anymore. I do not think that my former life is going to be accurately recalled. I am surprised that I actually have challenges that I am dealing with and that I want to deal with them somehow despite being so happy. PNSE is not what "I" really wanted because "I" wanted to get rid of "my" problems. They did not get away, but the "I" shifted. My family is more close, parents, siblings, and their kids. My wife is happier and also more alienated. My kids are happier and in better relations. My co-workers are having a better time with me. much less fear than before and I recognize it for something that is more related to my body than anything else. I notice things in my energetic system and in my feelings, I have a much better cognition of what is happening now than before. I am always calm. I am much more in tune with my kids now than before. I also practice sensing energy fields with my daughters. more calm and looking out the window. Less busybodying. More taking time to smell the roses and enjoy my life with my daughters especially. I have less tolerance for mediocrity. All the way or nothing! Thank you Jeffery for doing this amazing work! You are really changing the world! ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 44 , Iceland



“Third path happened, the believer was gone, dissatisfaction virtually dissapeared. Apart from a cluster of sub-minds that still hold on to the notion of being a separate self (and whom only make an appearance when in situations that are linked to the deepest traumas related to isolation), it is only momentary and practical. Mostly, it is pure experiencing. Peaceful and joyous. Integrated. Freedom and happiness. Liberation. This immediately became the new normal. I sometimes wonder about the accuracy of my past since we know memories are not that trusworthy. But I do remember a lot of suffering. I imagined it to be more magical, more super-powers-including. It is actually the most ordinary thing one can experience. Only in comparison to the before it is remarkable in its purity. It is the natural state to be clear, peaceful and joyous. No conflicts. If there is conflict it gets easily solved. Before I was anxious about countless things. Now only when unresolved trauma is triggered: it is a very physical appearance without a mental equivalent. Patience and generosity with clients. Not taking stuff personally. Thank you! ”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 37 , Germany



“It is a varying sense of depthness from an extension that is one with All / Beyond to being All / Beyond. It is far beyond. Words fall flat in describing the reality of who you really are. It's great to always be in a state of joy. I actually have to scale that back some because I've had stretches where my experience of the world around can shift into turmoil, and because I'm feeling so good no matter what, I'm not taking action to counteract it appropriately. I'm learning to be in varying states of PNSE while still having mental stimulation / drive to create an experience of reality that better supports basic physical survival at a high level. Always feeling good and unity with Source / Beyond. A sense of oneness with Source and everything. Shifts to states of total beauty of all. Sometimes shifts to states beyond all, but all is occurring. Freedom and Realization. The greater and deeper the expression, the more freedom one experiences. It is pretty normal to feel good all the time. I can remember having more stressful moments before, but I don't remember what the stress itself used to feel like as much. I'm not sure how quickly i started feeling this way as a new norm. it felt pretty quickly. What I've learned is that there is nothing to learn, only experiences / experiencing. They main thing I've noticed is I give off more light, because people say that more about me, rather to my face or to someone else. I hear statements like that more from people I don't know then I used to. My close relationships have all stayed the same. I feel positive almost all the time. Whenever there is a moment of fear, a trigger has been found. I'm not as emotionally attached to saying no as I used to be. Much more focused on creating in a way that is in alignment with the levels I am deepening into.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 38 , Pennsylvania, USA



“There is a greater appreciation and gratitude for just being alive and aware. More open, more accepting, more alive. The external conditions of my life have changed; I closed my business and retired, I got divorced, my mother died. My time is now truly my time and I feel that I can devote more time to" growing up and waking up". The main benefit for me has been to provide a grounded stable reference point from which to act/be.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 69 , Arizona, USA



“In every way. Life just unfolds, things happen, curiosity is peaked, insights arise, gratitude arrives. I can easily focus or concentrate on tasks as needed or not. There can be uninterrupted presence, a firm understanding of the role I am to play for others when they need it, and seldom is there embodied emotion to cloud perspective. It all just plays out. I have no fear....I really didnt understand how much subliminal fear was a part of my life until it was gone. The difference is quite startling. I have no sense of self. No one is home. When I look for an I using some of the practices I learned in the FC I cant find it. I am simply an empty vessel connected to all that is. There is no other, and I know that at a deep level (even though I can occasionally get caught up with the illusion that there). Not really here. Maybe as some porous, abstract notion that is a result of what others project upon me. I dont get caught up in it though. I just recognize that that is what it is. The difference is qualitative - not a matter of degree. I relate to everything differently. External change flows through me without being sticky. I simply dont identify with whatever is happening, but see if for what it is and watch it unfold. Since there really is no me I dont get caught up in the story or concern myself with others perception of me. Nothing is about me. Yet I can respond to others as appropriate, meeting their needs if that feels right. I dont have to be right. I am respectful, caring, and nurturing as part of fulfilling my role with others (e.g., mother, partner, friend, daughter) in a way that is not self serving. It really isnt possible to accurately describe the experience to someone who hasnt experienced it themselves. I tend to avoid the topic as there is little reason to bring it up. When it does come up I usually regret trying to communicate about it. It's the new normal. It was instant and dramatic moving me directly into L3 initially. I have some memories of my life before PNSE but it seems more like a previous life - the transition gives the term born again a whole new meaning. I kind of remember my experiences, my sense of self and emotions in some ways but it seems like it was a different person. I never thought about it before it happened. Didnt even know if was possible and was completely free of expectations. I guess that is the gift of not consciously being a seeker. The greatest lesson is to stay in the moment and in awareness that everything is connected is the only authentic way to experience life. To automatically just let all there is unfold and flow without letting it stick to me - there is wholeness and perfection. I no longer relate to the world from a sense of self so self interest doesnt get in the way of interactions. So there is no conflict-of-interest from me in relationship. I truly listen to others and try to help or advise when asked without putting the sense of self first. I also project much less that before my transition - actual hardly at all (and when I do find myself projecting I recognize it immediately. I am quite aware of the projection all around me. All in all, my greater objectivity and ability to be present for others probably results in them feeling that I am a better person. If that is accurate it is because a worser person is one that puts his or her self ahead of everyone else. My lack of emotions have helped my close relationships in that I seldom express negative relationships and do express positive emotions in an open honest manner (even though they are subtle. I am mor empathetic and often respond based more upon my role with the other person, e.g., I respond to my daughter in ways that provide support, security and help her grow, because that it my role as a mother. I tell her I am proud of her when I sense she needs to hear it even though pride is not an emotion I feel. I am fulfilling my role and now do it naturally. In the beginning it was not as natural as it is now. In other relationships such as with my father which was very difficult for me as a child I lost the resentment that I felt before PNSE. This definitely improved our relationship which was estranged for decades before my transition. This is also true of my relationship with my mother. We became very close after my father died, particularly in the last few years before she died. My professional relationships improved but not to the same extent as my family and personal relationships. Part of this is because I tend to interact with coulleages more from L2. It is a seamless transition that I make all the time. We are much more that our body, thoughts and emotions - and grander than I could ever have imagined. We truly do live an enchanted existence. I rarely experience fear - that emotion intently dissolved during my kundalini awakening. It was the first thing that I was aware of. What was most startling was that absence of fear made me realize how much fear shadowed my life before the transition. I have no fear of death, mine or anyone elses and believe that this is way fear is no longer with me. It is at the top of my list of changes that occurred instantly with awakening. I have a daughter who was 6 when I transitioned to L3 from a atheistic academic scientist belief system. My complete change in belief system had a major impact on how I raised her. She is deeply spiritual, open hearted and kind. I do not think this would be true as much if I did not transition. I can be more absent minded, less organized and forgetful which definitely impacts my day-to-day. While I aspire to look presentable and appropriate I am less concerned about my looks. ”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 68 , CA, USA



“There is still narrative self happening, but when looked at, it's seen as nothing. So the best way to say is that the ego/narrative self is sometimes appearing inside 'me' - the 'me' begin 'what is'. But this narrative self/ego is at the same time seen as 'empty', nobody, illusion, whatever you want to call it. So, there is a mix of 'everyday sense of self' and 'recognition of being nothing/everything, which, being everything, includes the 'everyday sense of self'. There's nothing that I 'do' differently - except, as a spiritual teacher, teaching 'from there' :-) My 'character' is very emotional. This emotionality and suffering can now be seen from 'there' without identification (it sometimes requires a delay or being mindful to what's present, but as soon as it is looked at, the illusory nature of the identified self is seen and drops). This 'nondual-ness' can be taken to the foreground in a blink, but is not there by default. During everyday life, there is a dual perception of reality: 'me' here and things 'there'. But it suffices to look at that to recognize that it is an illusion. In a blink, just by intending it, there is a return to 'nobody here', no 'here'/'there', no 'subject/object', being nothing and everything, just 'what is' happening (even 'happening seems too dual to describe what is 'there'). The 'intent of recognition' dictates the presence of non-dual-ness. So the 'non-dual-ness comes and go, but is available at 'will'. It's the new normal. It happened very quickly: immediately I would say. I'm still having emotions sometimes, but differently. Lots of 'meaning' has gone. I can remember how it felt, to a certain extent, but not spontaneously. Memories are essentially triggered by places or pictures,... Otherwise the past is not there. Regarding PNSE there was an idea of holy grail, and actually, it feels very normal, very casual. But no sense of disappointment. The character is less reactive. So a better person in the eyes of the ones who found that more reactivity is a 'worse person'. Here there isn't a sense of being a better person. Just being more clear, and less conditioned. Fear is very rare, but recently there was a trigger that showed that there was some remaining conditioning around the idea of physical/material security. It's rare, and can be seen as a trigger. Fear hasn't completely disappear, but the identification with the 'me' that would be experiencing the fear is easy to see. Thanks for gathering and analyzing these data.”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 48 , NE, USA



“Happier. More motivated. Even more committed to working on my stuff. Feeling of smooth flow through life - even when very, very busy. Greater willingness to apologize and back down when reactive. I would describe my sense of self as happy, easily in a state of bliss, flowing easily with the busyness of life, very aware of reactivity and wanting to do something about that. Also, some of my reactive energy is really strong but either short-lived or on my list to work on!! I am happier and open to working on any reactivity that comes up. More even flow in my life. Non-dual for me is having no opposite - no judgment by the ego. I find the English language to be one of the biggest challenges to non-dual as our language is very dual. So, for example, rather than saying something like "non-dual is love and not fear" I would now say in non-dual there is no lack of love. I do mention that I have taken a course which pretty much guarantees awakening or, at least a very high percentage of people who take the course do awaken. I attend a Spiritual Sharing group where I live in the winter. I do mention awakening at times and I experience zero response from any of the other members. And, I actually feel like an outsider (a familiar feeling - for the same reason I feel it now - just did not quite realize what I realize now - the being awake piece). What I observe is - almost no understanding of the narrative self in my spiritual group. Since I don't feel there are any "soul mates" in this group I find it best to mostly be in presence and share when it feels appropriate. Normally I might really be wanting this for people and talking to them about it but I find I end up wanting something for someone more than they want it for themselves. I trust the unfolding process that we are all moving forward the best we know how. I see that my life is really different and really the same. I am not sure that I have any difficulty recalling my prior life. I am happier and have a higher degree of wellness. I am easily in a state of awareness and bliss. My life, even though very busy, is feeling very steady and even. I like my new normal, whatever it is called. I used to think PNSE would be the end of problems and suffering, so to speak. Now I see that my awakening is the real beginning to do the hard work of dealing with triggers and reactivity. Happiness is a no brainer choice. Knowing the experience of being awake changes the perspective on life immensely. OK - that 2. I am happier and I am so much more willing to see my reactivity as my triggers to work on and it is not so easy for me to make all that real and solid - like there really is a you and a me. I am not too sure if my relationships with most people have seen much change in general - though this winter I have been very active and contributing hugely to my retirement community and am in service more than ever before. Mostly I see my life partnership is better because I am happier and more willing to really own my stuff. ”

Location 3, Female
Research Program Participant, age 72 , Canada



“My sense of self is well integrated, happy. I feel that I am on a path in 2018 that is all about furthering my spiritual Self. The benefits are immeasurable. I am at peace despite life's circumstances. I am not separate from that which is happening around me, whether it is my immediate environment, my community, etc. We are all part of the whole. Even in adversity, there are three sides to a coin, but there is only one coin. I have a wide variety of friends, some I share astrological, philosophical, and spiritual thoughts others are not so inclined, so I remain within the mundane. I'm not opposed or hiding my woo-woo-ness, it's just not the topic of regular conversations. Life is not as serious as it appears to be. I am even more thoughtful and kinder than I was before. I am less judgmental and more tolerant of others. Thank you for offering another group of measures. I'm excited to have been a part of the study.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 61 , WA, USA



“My self feels like a joyous open space receiving stimulus from a reality I am co-creating. I am better able to manage my life and my attitude. I am better able to manifest what I want. I have more "psychic" moments. Peace and joy not dependent on circumstances. What could be better? I have experienced "non-dual" in location 4 but I was uncomfortable there so I have made an effort to return to location 3. The non-dual experience is "just this" with no sense of agency or time. There can be marvelous contemplations of the sparkle on the water and dust in the air. Things still happen appropriately without a sense of agency but I did find myself writing more sticky-notes than usual to stay on track. I never allowed myself to "settle into" this stage feeling that it was impractical for me. Going into this I was thinking about becoming "enlightened." Now I know there is just a continuum of varying experiences. One can finally just relax and enjoy the ride--just be. I am less reactive and ego-driven now. My hygiene is more about energy balance and positive psychology than actual use of soap and water!!!!!! I have more patience, understanding, and love for all sentient beings. All my relationships are equally important and unimportant. They have levelled out to one general relationship with "the people." The community of Finders Course alumni are wonderful to interact with. I have much less experience of fear. I am less reactive. For instance when my husband wanted to move back up north after the storm--I thought, okay, I can live with that (even though I would prefer not to move from the south.)”

Location 3, Female
Research Program Participant, age 57 , Florida, USA



“I am more aware. I don't dwell in the past or the future... I am aware of triggers and can disarm them most of the time. I am aware of what thoughts enter my head and know they are not me. I can let go, I don't have to grab a hold of a thought and let it take me to an unpleasant place. I choose not to suffer, sometimes I still do but eventually I realize what I am doing. I am reclusive. The people I do interact with either think I am a nut and have for a long time or recognize I seem to have a big chunk of peace about me but still think I am a nut. I see everyone else as me. I have more empathy for all. I recall being much more emotional and stuck with my story, my traumas. I am more comfortable with myself having let most of that go. Thank you. No matter what, everything is fine. I sometimes still experience fear due to "what if" thoughts. The course erased my larger base of fear. I am more aware of what I am feeling. I know nothing. ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 65 , IN, USA



“I have stopped painfully feeling like I need to be 'enlightened'; to get 'it.' If I read or watch spiritual 'stuff' it is because it is a greatly fascinating topic, not because I am pining to get somewhere else. I still have a sense of self, but very rarely get caught by it (eg, take it seriously as a reality that needs to be defended or enhanced or improved). My sense of self is often lodged in the body (eg, energetic contractions), rather than constructed in the mind (eg, this is who I am and what I stand for type thoughts. These very rarely occur). Life feels more relaxed, less urgent (even though I am dealing with significant challenges; a loved one's health diagnosis). I just lost my job, but it somehow seems perfect, and like it couldn't be any other way. I no longer try and change/improve my family. I feel significantly less concern about my daughter's well being (to be clear, I care as much as I ever did, but the mindless picking away at anxious thoughts about her is gone, or caught quickly and discarded). I can relax and enjoy what life brings, not only the things I want it to bring. I find it impossible to think, 'this shouldn't be happening', which removes a big source of resistance. Life has become an interesting playground, rather than an endurance test. I have a deep sense that everything will be fine, although I don't have any idea of what 'fine' will look like. I call it peace, acceptance, and equanimity, because they are words that are easily comprehensible by others. The only non-Perfectly Okay person I share with is my husband, who is interested in my experience, but is only cautiously interested in seeing it for himself. I generally don't mention no-self, because it doesn't make sense. I don't mention my experience to any of my friends on a 'spiritual' path, because they have inculcated new age beliefs about enlightenment (perfection, saint-like, etc), and what I describe would not fit in with that, as it is prosaic. It has become a new normal, and it happened slow enough that it happened immediately. I think I can accurately recall my past (and if not, I have diaries dating back 25 years). I was waiting to be struck by God's thunderbolt (and I realise now, I wanted the 'specialness' that I thought it would bring). However, the gift of being able to be with the difficulties of my life is priceless, as is the ability to be a true adult; not blaming or fixing others; taking responsibility and doing what I can, not lost in a morass of guilt and obligation. The way our culture is structured is designed ?acts to? make life on earth difficult and miserable, but it doesn't need to be like that. I generally do not instinctively act from self-interest alone, and many of my friends enjoy the spacious listening/responding container that seems to arise when we are together. I have friends who I really value, and have let the others go, as I no longer feel the need to fulfil social expectations. My family and friends enjoy what they describe as my kindness and clarity. As a psychotherapy student, I have sometimes encountered other students who think I am completely fake, because I am not triggered by the same things they are, and they needle me to get a reaction. I hold this reaction lightly, and am not stressed by it. I don't act out of obligation, which I used to do all the time. I think it's because I don't fear their judgement. I figure that if they are going to judge me negatively because they can't control me, then I don't want them in my life anyway. As I like to say, freeing myself from the good opinion of others is a very empowering act for a human being. The less talks and books you get sidetracked/obsessed with, the faster you can sink into the ground of being many times a day. Also, speculation about the nature of the universe seems to me to be a waste of time when seeking, as it sidetracks attention and energy from looking inward, over and over. Less fear in general, and it generally only lasts for a few minutes (although for a deep trigger, say, my daughter's safety, it could last a few days). I used to be very fearful and I would say I lived most of my life in a fearful state. Now, I generally see it in a detached way and many other things (for example amusement, or joy) can be present at the same time. Also, because I feel less fear than I used to, the contrast is very striking and it seems more unpleasant than when I was used to it. It has enabled me to stop trying to control my daughter, and to trust that life has its own process which will go on just fine without me interfering. Also, that her happiness is not my responsibility.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 52 , Australia



“Most things just roll off of me now. I worry much less about everything, and realize that I can overcome any obstacle. My "inner voice" has quieted, and now it is more like a tool and no longer a critic. I find that the sense of self, while there, is nowhere near as paramount as it once was. I realize any sense of self is an illusion created by my brain. My outer life really hasn't changed. My career is the same. I live in the same house with the same wife and pets. My inner critic has left the building, and I can tell what is important in the external world to do. This has really brought in the well being feeling. The ups and downs are all but non-existent. It is now the new normal. For a couple of years, due to work stress, I was in location 1, but still experienced a lot of negative emotions. That has now stabilized since I'm now deep in location 2. I experienced a gradual shift. I was expecting a dramatic shift, which didn't happen. Things are going to happen whether you consciously do anything or not. I think to the extent I'm better able to navigate the world, makes it a better place. I experience fear much less now. I get less annoyed about it now than I did. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 51 , MA, USA



“More clarity. More peace. It is very difficult to explain. I both have the sensation of being a limited separated body due to chronic activated conditionings in the body which form kind of like an armor, however i also feel that im one with all that is. In the peripheral space theres only light. God. Awareness. Reality, whatever u wanna call it. So its both. Less desire for social life. Less trying to build my characters life and image and story. Feel of security in the background allthough it is coupled with strong negative emotions. I both experience duality and nonduality since i feel that i am the world and everything is me, but at the same time i have painful sensations in the body telling me that im separate from the world. Its a very strange type of state. So i can tune in to both feelings. Of being all or being a separate individual. It is the new normal. It took a while. Has been very gradual. I do not remember how it was to be "normal" so to speak. It has been different in the way that it is coupled with negativity. But when i go to the pur experience of PNSE i guess it is kinda what i expected it to be in the way that it is peaceful, undescribable etc. That we are all one huge superorganism that is by interacting with itself evolving into a more complex and beautiful being. People are viewing me in a different light now. Before a was jsut a nice and fun guy i think. Now ive become more eccentric or perhaps more interesting and perplexing to people. My family has started to look up to me more and more i feel. Same with people around me. People are becoming more interested. Also more intimidated in a way since i dont follow norms as much as before. But i feel that it i can connect with others if a mor truthful way also now. Like i interact with people below superficial conversations, tuning into more "energetic" type of interactions. The non verbal aspects of communion. Still very much experience fear. Although in a more distanced way. Like it doesnt budge me. Before it would freak me out maybe, now its just there. Ive become more distracted, more difficult to focus on the task at hand due to all the negativity that is distracting me. But when i need to be efficient i can be very efficint if i just make an effort. Then i often enter flow states. ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 28 , Sweden



“The voice in my head has disappeared for the most part. I am happier on the inside and it is deeper. I have always felt there was something beyond this life, but the Course helped me focus on the Awareness of it in everyday life and really feel a connection. Things that bothered me, bother me less. I don't want to invest the time or energy and give up my peace. My relationships have improved. My sense of self is that I am much bigger, that I am connected to everything and everyone. I am the same as everyone else. I am on my own journey as are they. I have a body and I have a soul and the soul part is the real part. It is just easier. I enjoy it more. I still have some times where I get caught, I forget but I always come back to that core peace. I think that I just look at life differently AND that voice in my head is gone. There is stillness. Until the Course, I had never really experienced the quietess of being. I felt so free!! A sense of peace, of oneness. Joy. No thing is better or worse than any other thing. Losing Self to find Peace. It is also not an easy thing to explain. I usually just say it can result in a sense of deep peace and well being and loss of that voice in your head. Most people relate to that. I have a better relationship with my husband and a greater appreciation of our life together. It is easier for me to relate to my step grandchildren. I don't take things so personally. I do not fear death. I still experience some fear if I am alone in the house and my husband is gone. I think women in general feel that way over certain situations. I don't feel alone however. I am much better with my Grandchildren in the sense of being present and wanting to be. I don't have the responsibility so perhaps that accounts for that. I really think I enjoy them on a different level, on a soul level than I would have before the Course. A better appreciation of life and what is around me. Enjoying the movie. I really appreciate the effort, the hours , the commitment that Jeffery and all the other people employed or helping put in on this project. There is not another place where you can get the Best of the Best methods to start your journey of discovery and change. ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 68 , Oregon, USA



“Pervasive sense of well being despite some very prevalent struggles with chronic illness. Not separate. Expansive. Goes beyond limitations of the small vessel normally called self. No matter what is going on there is this underlying sense of well being. PTSD symptoms pretty much gone. Love and compassion readily accessible. More fearlessness (not total, but there). Major shift in how I view the world, knowing on a visceral level rather than just intellectually. Able to cope with limitations that would have probably lead to fairly severe depression in the past. Mental afflictions (triggers) not as sticky although they do arise. I call it the shift. Because there is this beyond words, fundamental, non intellectual shift in belief about how the world works. It has become my new normal, and it happened pretty quickly although there are still triggers! I am still a hermit with chronic illness. It is hard to get back into the same level of suffering that occurred before. I am not talking about pain, I have struggles with energy and physical health, but they just arent all-encompassing any more and it is hard to remember that they were. I also had PTSD and it doesnt seem to be triggered. I remember it, but it is just another story. Hard to put into words. It feels like an endless journey, but that is just fine...it just unfolds more and more, deepening, allowing more integration, etc. The experience is accessible to everyone. To be a witness to the ebbs and flows, the triggers and the joy without owning or grasping onto them. That what we think life is, isnt. There is a tremendous infinity of well being that is the basic current, even when the waves of what we call ordinary life are tsunamis...hard to put into words. The person does not exist as a separate entity...therefore there is more opportunity for love, connection, acceptance and change. It has made this little me unafraid to love and to express love. There are moments of fearfulness, but they give way pretty quickly. Very different than before. I thought I might be having a heart attack and had to go to the er recently, and there was worry, but it felt like just the surface. And the experience in the er was connecting with the staff there, and laughing and joking and just being...the staff seemed to feel the difference as well. the possibility of what is commonly called death was there, but not all encompassing. More of a constant sense of well being even with illness present, more ability to recognize and work with triggers. ”

Location 3, Female
Research Program Participant, age 65 , VT, USA



“If I direct my attention to the idea of a self, it seems like a nonsense question. As soon as I observe myself --there is nothing. No thing. Catch my attention, and I am off on a delightful ride. Just the ride. Until I look (and I never think to, unless someone asks me a question like this) then: no rider :) Perhaps the greatest gift of dong the FC is coming to peace with this after so many years of underlying unease that my PNSE-ish was crazy. FC introduced me to a language that can describe this experience. I could not change it, and now I can just enjoy it. Which brings me to the quality of the so-called silence. It is only apparently silent. The information stream does not stop. I can sense my non-thoughts as they arise, and assess or stop them just as I could my thoughts many years ago when I first shifted into L1. This is wordless for the most part. Extremely so for the first 6 9 months after I land in L4. This smooths out to easily and unconsciously shifting between wordless mode, which is very rich in information, and focusing in on the words that emerge on the surface of that stream, which have less information, is seamless now. Because of the contrast, sometimes language seems very clunky and gross as compared to the detailed information matrix beneath. There is also complete silence of the information stream if I choose. My mind seems to flex back and forth among the three in a kind of rhythm of various levels of activity. If I have been very focused as in social situations, my mind will automatically seek the complete silence mode for 20 - 40 minutes as soon as it can. This kind of rhythmic, responsive flow is very comfortable now and I appreciate the adjustment after the obvious contrast of the initial L4 experience. Just as ordinary consciousness meditates -in focus to experience silence, each time I have moved into L4 (from L3) I have experienced the reverse: there is only silence and I must meditate/focus to have words. With enough social interaction it all smooths out into an easy flow. The last transition time was 6 months and I realized around the 18 month point that I felt normal again. (That is, PNSE normal) In all this experience, there is never any specific self, simply the activity that I describe above. Balance. Flexibility. the ability to adjust to stressful situations more quickly than others. Clarity is a precious commodity indeed. I have experienced both L1 and 3 and Location 2 and 4. My body seems to just like L2 and 4 best. (I have more fun in L3 - I fell in love with my husband in L3 --wow ) so I am now L4+ (I am not clear on the definitions of 5+ --so I will just say 4+) It is a very flexible state with (mostly) easy access to information. But in spite of the easy conversation and movement that I associate with L3 it is distinctly....UMmmm...Well, you see what I mean. If I take notice of my internal "self" All disappears. Immediately and completely. Language fails. It is a place of no language. Oddly, I might say that this seems to me to be even more apparent than when I first shifted into L4. the difference is that I can navigate easily now and I am over the entry shock. there is no Other, there is no "me". then there is focus and the ride begins. That joy is what emerges in the activity still surprises and delights me. that split second of Awe has never ceased. It is a wonder. ..and then I observe "it" and all disappears. So I don't know what Non-dual is for others. It is a new term for me (and I like it ;) but this current experience is austere joy and severe delight. Silence without sound. sorry, only poetry works --words are clunky things. New normal took about 6 months the first time (L1) L4 takes the longest (two years altogether) L3 is easy maybe only a month. a very smooth ride indeed.”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 55 , WA, USA



“Wow. Well, I stopped trying to force love and relationships to happen, and that, ironically, allowed finding "love." Although love is no different than the everything that's happening. It's just magic, and letting things happen without interference or effort. There is a sense of not being in control, and faith in the spontaneous unfolding of whatever this is that's happening. ..There is also much less interest in activities that were motivated by a sense of escape - drug use, drinking, exercising excessively, dancing excessively. In general, there is a sense that Now, Here, is okay, and nothing done will deviate from that, therefore nothing really improves or decreases the enjoyment of a situation, other than lessening residual identification. There is a sense that i am just part of flow, and things are being taken care of without my effort. That fretting isn't necessary. I feel closer with everything, everyone, and that i can't be separated from anything. I went from wanting to die to loving the mystery of all of this. One understands that which refers to the self is an abstract collection of thought patterns that remain or have dissipated. But one sees one is not merely this collection of thought patterns anymore - one includes EVERYTHING, or, nothing. But not even that....Just isness, I suppose. Something non-conceptual. Just the feeling with eyes closed that something is happening that I am, and that the ""I"" is not separate from that very feeling of AMNESS. A contented knowing of not knowing, in short. Before, my plan, or, at least the lurking background thought, was to just kill myself if I couldn't figure out why I was suffering so. I was obsessed with figuring out my mind; I was very strict and disciplined with people and myself, but at the same time, a drug addict, sex addict, co-dependent narcissist that blamed others and the world. I felt victimized and hated myself for not being able to fix myself. That is pretty much all gone. Things just happen now, and I'm amongst that. it's all just happening. I don't know how or why and I accept that I can't, I probably don't need to know why, etc. Life has gone from being a burden to being more like a joy ride. Gone is the impending sense of doom. it's all fun now. Increased belonging/sharing with people, more feeling of love and connection, more intuition and positive affect, feeling of belonging and acceptance, feeling of independent joy, not relying on thinking about future for fun, no need for things to happen to be happy. a feeling of peace and not suffering. easy relationships with people. less social fear. less self-consciousness. NO need for sex or drugs or alcohol. NO need for people to make me happy. no obsessive tendencies of negative self worth or needing to be x or y to be happy. no need to participate in the rat race. The body is not other than the apparent space apparently surrounding it. Therefore, it's all the same stuff. Therefore, it's all equal. The hierarchy of form, at some level, is intuitively felt to be false, and one appreciates, even though light at times or perhaps "gone", the seamlessness of all. I joke that I took Losers Course, because it's easier to describe what's lost than what's gained. The sense of fixed identity is lost; what's gained is everything/nothing/difficult to explain. I used to be obsessed with finding women, finding the right relationship. I was very judgmental, disciplined...yet co-dependent, manipulative, drug addicted, blame avoidant. Now, all that is gone. I met an amazing woman, and there is no sense that I did anything. It's just happening, magically. Synchroncities, effortlessness, it's all just magic and I have nothing to do with it it feels like. This has been a huge change. The funny thing is the conditioning that remains is still attracted to dysfunctional people...but awakeness found itself in another and it's a shared essence of love. At once simple and profound. Non-needy. That you don't have to understand any of these things that happen. They can happen. Things just happen, almost magically, and one has to accept they're beyond the limits of the mind. That's touted in FC, but even still it's something I have to remind myself. There is still fear or contraction in social situations, although much less. This is one of the biggest things remaining for me. It's definitely changed, and since the sense of nonduality it has greatly lessened, but there is fear present here, yes. I don't want to die anymore.....I don't suffer so much. I love. I feel things. I open my heart. I don't need a career. I don't need to be this or that to have intrinsic value. I would like to take the course again and deepen further! ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 33 , Canada



“I don't get into negative states much at all, and when I do, it fades quickly. Fear is either completely gone or nearly so. Same with regret. However I still have flashes of anger, but they are momentary. I am not "blissed out" much of the time but it does happen from time to time. Mostly I am in a generally positive state. I don't really think about myself that much. My emotional state is generally positive. Absence of fear/anxiety. Sharp reduction in anger. General calm. Much less reactive. Things don't really upset me anymore. If they do, I know it will pass and I don't engage. Generally calm/unperturbed and present. Much more patient. I have had occasional moments of unity consciousness but most of the time I still think a lot and it still feels like me here. It is the new normal. It happened pretty quickly. Yes I think I can recall my before state accurately. I did not have a lot of expectations. With that said, there was a part of me that probably expected the sense of self to drop away or the internal monologue to stop completely, as we got into it. That has not happened. Also it does not magically fix your life situation or relationships. I wasn't really expecting that but I can imagine how someone could. It's OK. That's pretty much it. It's all OK. I am more present with my family and friends and am much less distracted. The less you know and the fewer your expectations before taking the course, the better, has been my experience. Dramatic reduction in fear. I am probably a bit more pliable because I feel that it is all the same. I don't really care which movie we watch or whether we go out or stay in. It's all the same. I am less inclined to punish my kids and am more inclined to just let them do what they are going to do. I am more present. My daughter has noticed and commented on this. Thank you! ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 51 , CA, USA



“More fluid, less sticky, more spacious. Calmer. Happier More peace. the narrative self is only relatively real. absolute reality is non dual. my husband notices a greater sense of peace in me. slowed down. Thank you for creating the course! :-)”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 67 , CA, USA



“I was very happy before the course and I'm even happier bouncing around with positive energy, joy and happiness. It feels like nothing can bring me down. Any possible negative events or energy seem to disappear just as soon as I am aware of it. Persistent state of peace, joy and serenity with little fear of anything. Much happier than before and things are easy. I have less resistance to things. Happiness, less anxiety or negativity. I still have the body and take care of it but do not feel "I" has any control over its life. Life happens and I am aware of it. It's simpler and subtler than what I thought it would be yet it changes everything. Feel much less fear and more joy all the time. We are safe so we can relax and play in this life. I'm more outgoing and curious and want to connect more without fear. That the journey could continue on... or not. We could keep changing, growing or not. I get much less annoyed and the annoyance disappears quickly. Fuller, richer, more synchronicity, more predictability, easier flow. I'm more relaxed and easy going. Thank you for being.”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 55 , CA, USA



“I'm happy. I had no idea before the program how unhappy I was. I can still access it because I'm doing a lot of integration work, and so the triggers that I'm working on at the moment can produce that feeling, but if I'm not trying to access them, things are great, and when I am trying to access them, I know that things will be great, probably better, when I'm done. I feel like I'm here, I have a body, I'm aware, there are thoughts sometimes, there is non-acceptance sometimes, there is acceptance a lot of the time. I don't generally conceptualize "me" unless I need to use self-referential language. There aren't any major structural changes, except that I now spend a lot more time teaching informally. One might say too much time, but that's implies a bit too much of a fixed idea of how things ought to be which I don't think is valid. I have left my previous job, not by choice but because the company was sold and my rather odd job at that company was (not surprisingly) not seen as useful by the new company. But so much of what I was doing was by choice rather than assignment that a lot of what I was doing before is still happening; what's been added is a search for funding/decision process about what to do next if funding doesn't happen. I'm happier and more effective; I feel like I'm on a path in a good direction, not stagnating or going in a bad direction. I don't see the things that are here as being specially separate from the things that are there. There are still things. I don't feel "at one with everything," or "identified with everything". I just don't feel particularly identified to anything. Not in a bad wayit just doesn't come up much unless I'm considering this specific question. But to be honest, I don't really know that my experience is non-dualI just don't know that it's not. If it is non-dual, I think there is still some duality to it, but it's not a believed duality. This is hard to talk about partly because I spend so much time talking to non-dual people that even if I'm still dual, the idea seems a bit foreign and the language seems to want to be non-dual. It's become the new normal. What's easier for me to recall is how extreme some temporary NSE I had prior to transition felt at the time, and compare it to how I feel now and realize that that's normal for me now. But I can also access the suffering when I'm working on triggers, although presumably at some point that will no longer be available. Suffering really is optional. I smile more, I'm kinder, I'm no longer particularly interested in having something to say so that people will like me, so I'm a much better listener. The number of stupid and self-defeating behavior patterns that have dropped away since my transition is amazing. My relationship with my wife is better, although we're both continually doing integration work, and that can be a bit stressful. My relationship with my family is better. I'm able to actually see my mother now, where before I needed to mentally shy away because I was so disturbed by her suffering as a result of her health issues. I'm a lot less interested in the volunteer work that I do in a local music group, but still seem to be able to manage it. My relationship with my piano teacher has gotten hugely better, because there's less id in the way of hearing what she has to say. I think people like me more. I am alone a lot, so one of my frustrations is that I don't have a lot of other close relationships to get better at. Fear is usually difficult to access. I can feel the trigger going off just as it always did, but it's quite muted at this point (at first it was fairly bright). But it just doesn't trigger a narrative, conscious or unconscious, anymore. I can still have observations that I would have called fears before, like "hm, that spot could be skin cancer," but now it's very clinicalif it's skin cancer, it's skin cancer; let's check it out and see. Before there would have been a long narrative about dying, complete with scenarios about how things would be for the people left behind. Now I do what needs to be done that can be done, and that's it, there's no narrative. Recently I've had a dropping-off of the tendency to want to be somewhere else. "My behavior is less driven by desire, so e.g. I can now eat when I need to eat, and not just because I am bored and want an endorphin hit. I sleep better. I no longer worry about what to have for dinner, and I cook dinner without feeling burdened by it. I'm more likely to notice some small task that needs to be done around the house and do it. There's lots of stuff I'd still like to see change, though; that feels like it's part of the integration process." You are amazing.”

Location 3, Male
Research Program Participant, age 54 , Vermont, USA



“99.99% of the time, I feel like I am this body. I'm somewhat better at letting uncomfortable feelings manifest themselves instead of frantically pushing them away. I don't get bored as easily as I used to. It's much easier to just sit still and be a human being for a few minutes. I only really talk about this with my brother and my best friend. Most people are pretty apprehensive about the ""no-self"" thing. I try my best to frame it like this: "So many things happen that are out of our control. Even though we know that there's nothing we can do, we still struggle, and resist, and drive ourselves insane for no good reason. I believe that life gets much easier and a hell of a lot more enjoyable when I stop trying to change everything." It's the new normal. I think that this took 3-6 months to happen. I have a feeling that I'm less emotionally reactive than I used to be, but I don't think that I was particularly unstable before the course. Spiritual bypassing is a thing. There are plenty of people who are remarkably deep in PNSE but incredibly immature/selfish/immoral. I think that PNSE has made me more patient. This has probably improved my behavior. I've become more aware of just how much social interaction is performative. I still enjoy the company of friends and family, though. PNSE isn't a panacea. You need to take care of your body, go outside, and communicate with people, or you will deteriorate without even knowing it. Fear is still a big part of my life, but I don't have to let it make my decisions for me anymore.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 24 , Arizona, USA



“Im less caught up in the drama of my life. I can enjoy it from a more detached (and arguably more effective) point of view. Im definitely much more present with people and Im more grateful for the abundance around me.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 50 , CO, USA



“More pervasive stillness, less mental chatter, fewer emotions, little if any getting hijacked by emotions. I can work for longer periods of time with little mental fatigue. None right now in the moment. The only time this pops up, to the degree that it does, is when thoughts are believed in a cascading manner from which some sense of self can be reified. No longer getting tossed about and carried away by emotions. There is much to be said for have more equanimity in ones life. When engaging in any sort of process, whether working, going out shopping to a number of different places, etc., there is little thinking about it. An intention or agenda is present and though flows as needed. There is no sense of agency that is a doer, which takes credit or blame for doing things, or agonizes over things. It just a flow that goes on. PNSE had become a new normal for me. After any shifts Ive had the newness factor had dissipated with a week or so. As to what pre-PNSE was like, I can still remember it, but just how accurately I am not sure. At times things will happen and I know my reaction/response is certainly different than what it once would have been. My prior expectations were those of someone who has accumulated way too many books with Sanskrit and Pali glossaries over the years. I think I had always expected there to be a me relishing the experience of Buddhahood, regardless of anything Id heard about no-self. Dont over think things (or think that much at all) and try not to fall into efforting. I am calmer, less reactive, more productive. It all goes back to the striving to get somewhere; disdaining the present for a some better future, which of course always remains in the future. Overall I care less about relationships with people. I have fewer than I did two years ago due to their death, relocation, or involvement with other things, and dont really care. I have difficulty pretending unfunny jokes (95% are unfunny) are funny. My overall level of normal anxiety is much lower than pre-PNSE. Working is easy per se, as I can spend long periods of time working on a PC without becoming fatigued and get a lot done. In general, Im more focused, seldom bored, more patient (a big plus), and have little anxiety about things. ”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 59 , Philadelphia, PA, USA



“No negative emotionsAwareness itself. Its easier. No paranoia. I don't expect much from others. Everything is totally fine moment to moment. Hardly any judgmentalism. Life is much easier without a nagging voice in your head. There is no inside or outside to experience and there is no entity at the "center" of experience. The ordinariness of it is a bit surprising. There is simply an open clarity that never leaves. It's completely ordinary. It is the new normal, took about 6 -9 months. I can recall how shitty it was to be identified the way I can recall how it felt to believe in Santa Claus as a child. There are memories around it but I can't embrace and talk from the belief structure. There is a lot less tension from my side. That allows everyone around me to be more at ease. Everyone is exactly where they need to be right now. There is less talking from "you should" and more inquisitiveness around what is happening. 2 weeks into the FC my wife said "you are nicer". Very little fear. Was painting my house and was on a ladder on a scaffold 30 feet in the air and had to remove both hands from the ladder to do something above my head. The body was afraid but "I" wasn't. There was a joy about it all. I do a lot less. ”

Location 5+, Male
Research Program Participant, age 55 , Il, USA



“Bounce back from triggering more quickly, with less intensity and duration. Experience of "no self" easily accessed/ experienced. Deeper meditations - emptiness, selflessness. More tolerance/ acceptance of others and life events. Greater well-being. My self? Hmm, can't really find an "it". It's more just a flow of perceptions and a fading something that wants to claim history & memories and doership/ownership. Not taking things as seriously, sense of ease and confidence about the future, feeling I always have a refuge "inside". I'm better able to stay balanced. I'm more oriented to giving back, service to others. Better able to love and support my wife and friends. Stop striving! It's taking you farther away from the goal! Don't feel fearful about anything. Post PNSE - Familiar fears have faded - mainly "abandonment". More relaxed, less stress and strain, arranging life to support my deepening. Thanks:)”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 69 , CA, USA



“My experience of life is completely changed from an ordinary life of seeking to wonder. A structure moving in harmony with the flow of life. The actions are about the same, the perspective is less self centered. Emotions change to non-personal feelings. It allows one to take all the attention spent maintaining the ego and use it to explore life. Non-dual seems like a stage. I would call it an opportunity to find/achieve your full potential. This is to avoid the concepts from eastern teaching about non-duality. It is the new normal. It seems like any memories are framed in the current understanding. Even though I may intellectually know things were very different before I can't quite get to the point where I believe they were different or am able to recall memory's in living color complete with emotions. I am more prone to point out how someone needs to change than be empathetic. From my view I have more compassion for people even those who have made grievous errors. I don't frame things as better or worse anymore. Someone may do something I think will lead to a hard lesson or someone may be doing a marvelous job of staying in the flow of life. Its all just life. There seem to be a builtin guidance system, so just pay attention and trust what you see. Fear comes from different parts of the brain. If a snake crosses you path there will be fear, it is programmed deep in the subconscious. Social anxiety seems to be subconscious but it fell away with the narrative self however if you look for it, say to gain energy for lecture, it still seems to be there and fully functioning just below normal conscious awareness. Last year I had a serious health crisis and didn't experience fear or was bothered by pain although I was aware of pain. I was bothered by the fact that I didn't have a will and if I died other peoples life more difficult than necessary.”

Location 5+, Male
Research Program Participant, age 68 , FL, USA



“In the 95 days since I discovered that I had transitioned into L1, I have had one day that I would call "bad", and even that one ended with me being very relaxed. This was not my normal way of being before FC. After the course ended, I've deepened into Fundamental Wellbeing and feel more stable. I'm filled with a very stable feeling of "okayness" whenever I look for it, and it pops up even when I don't. I find it hard to rate my wellbeing on a scale from 1-10 these days, because I would have to start a new scale that went from 11-20, but even this seems meaningless since I don't really care how "okay" I feel, just that I'm fine. These days I enjoy simply waiting around. I'm happy whenever I have a chance to spend time doing absolutely nothing, while previously I would try to fill every minute of every day with "productive" things like listening to audio books or podcasts, work, etc. I think I'm a lot more confident in social situations, and I also think I'm slightly funnier because of this confidence. I'm less focused on my own life story, although it's not entirely gone. I'm less worried about doing "well" in life, and less interested in changing the world to my liking. I feel less "attached" to the "cosmic play". I feel effortlessly present. I don't take my "self" personally. It's feels like I'm in a play and I've been given this guy that I have to play, but I don't really believe the role is "real". Every time I interact with someone I haven't met before I start ""fresh"". I don't feel like I have to be "me". More confidence. Effortless enjoyment of the present moment. Stable feeling of "okayness". Less compulsive thinking (although there is still some). A feeling that other people worry about silly things, and make mountains out of mole hills. I avoid triggers rather than seeking them out. Less stress. Some compulsive behaviours like fidgeting have simply fallen away after years of trying unsuccessfully to stop them. I think I'm in the early stages of L2. I feel like I'm mostly stationary, and the world moves around me. When I walk, the world moves into my view without my direct involvement. Things around me and other people's voices have a certain "me-ness" about them. I'm acutely aware that the things around me are simply a product of my awareness. I feel like my "hands"/"being" extend to embrace everything I see. I feel like things that are far away are smaller than I know they are. Even things that are close feel smaller than they used to. I feel like other people live inside me. There is a certain flatness, both emotionally and physically, about the world. Within a few weeks of transitioning, I started to realize that it would become difficult to remember normal consciousness. In the first few weeks I had some episodes where I felt I was falling out of ONE and this was a huge contrast for me, and it made me aware how easy it was to forget what it was like. I catch myself thinking "was I always like this?". I do however remember my own descriptions of my state of mind to my fellow FC group members, and it was not the same. I also remember the things I couldn't do effectively. I have to remind myself that simply sitting still doing nothing was not a great pleasure. My nascent nonduality is also a way to remember that it wasn't always like this. This is more obvious than simple wellbeing and is one of the reasons I'm targetting L2. I don't want to simply take PNSE for granted. I'm currently in late L1 or early L2 and I'm targetting late L2. L1 is becoming a "new normal" for me, and even slight dips in calm and wellbeing can be alarming to me, which is paradoxical in a way. Everything you will ever see will be right here, there is no past nor future, and there never was. I think I've gotten better at listening, since I don't feel the need to tell my own "story" to the same degree. I think I've gotten a lot more frank and harder to manipulate, because I don't respect or fear other people's story or self image in the same way, since I don't view it as "real". People who get angry with me get nowhere. I'm calmer and therefore I imagine I'm nicer to be around. I'm better at giving sincere complements because I have time to notice the other person more, and I'm not "waiting for my turn to speak" as much as I used to. I do still experience fear. Probably less than before, and mostly about things that are right here and now, not in the future. Less stressed at work, more focused on doing high impact work than being stuck on details.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 31 , United Kingdom



“My moment to moment excperience is very good. Before I thought the moment was boring, now it is enjoable. I do the same type of things as I did before. Not being stressed and not making worst case senarios. General good feeling throught the day even in the moring, even if I just slept 4 hours. The emotinal well being is much better. How wonderful life is in a moment to moment basis. Things dont seem to stress me (although some things can show up). The moment to moment excperience of life is so much better it is hard to describe. A bit like being in the cold and then enter a warm house. Everything is a lot easier becuase there are so few emotions in the way. I do not consider myself non-dual. It is defnitly a new normal. It took some weeks. I dont want to accurately recall it as of now because I tried once and it seemed to bring me out of ONE. I think it can be annoying for some that I am not stressed when they themselves are stressed. On others it might be positive that I dont respond in a way I did before. It does seem to change somewhat, also because I dont care so much what others do or say or think. A lot less fear. But in a very pratical way. I dont make worse case senarios anymore. Before I could feel guilty if someone wanted me to do something but I refused. Now, the guilt does not last. I am a lot less stressed about things. My excperience of life has a lot higher quality on a moment to moment basis. ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 33 , Akershus / Norway



“Peace is present all the time. Aware. Here. Now. Absence of reactivity. Nothing and no one to fix. Open. Knowing your essential nature as free here and now. Once you know, seeking ends. Its my new normal. It occurred both suddenly and gradually. I originally thought it was about accessing certain states and experiences. Its not. Its just about Knowing whats true. Seeking can and does end. I am more present for everything and everyone. I am more open, direct, and available. I dont have to fix anyone, so greater acceptance of others as they are. Increased trust on the part if others. Theres no future fearful story. If fear arises, its not in my head. Rather, its instinctual. Something in the environment is perceived as a threat and the body mind responds normally. I honor whats true for me. More of a here now focus and less on fixing anything in the past. No stress. Thank you for creating FC! ”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 67 , VA, USA



“I'm clearer in myself in many ways- I am seeing things more holistically- and there's no longer an illusion of "being awake" or asleep - it all just is, and my ability to embrace all of life and more of me has increased tremendously thanks to the work I've been doing to integrate my experience. There's less separation and thus less pain of separation. My heart's capacity to feel and be with what is has expanded - I can feel and hold more pain and more joy than ever, without losing myself in either. A solid sense of self doesn't really exist- a transparent one comes and goes...there's both universality and individuality dancing...I'm done trying to put it into words! Less heaviness/guilt/shame etc. Ease- holding my self, my story and others more lightly...I can be with what is more and more without resistance to any of life's experience. it's a more peaceful and joyous state of flowing through life. Also a lot more connected to myself, life and others. isness is, and all of it is welcome, embraced. the dual nature of life is also included, embraced and enjoyed.”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 36 , MA, USA



“I tolerate others easier. Everything tends to be okay. I think I am better seated in being me. I think I am in a better mood than before. More settled, content. A Quieting... It is the change I most notice. It's the new normal. I think it occurred right off, I just did not think to check if it was still there until after the FC was over. I think I was located before taking the course, though not persistently...never knew to check. I did not have any expectations other than having the experience of getting to go through all those practices in a dedicated and motivated fashion. My experience has been most positive and am very happy with the experience/results. I am more settled into myself. Less willing to be superficial. I do not think my close relationships have changed. I think I have allowed more openness to others. I think I am more forthright with positives. No fear. ”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 66 , ME, USA



“I am way happier on a daily basis, I feel happy is my default state, I am more peaceful, present, my focus is way more intense and clear. I am a horse rider and my horse responds better to me as I have such a clear focus. I feel that there is a distance between me and a lot of my triggers so I get a choice to respond rather than an automatic response, hence my relationships are closer, calmer and generally happier. I experience a distance from pain, it doesn't take over my thoughts so I can manage it better. I appreciate everything more as my senses perceive more, I feel lucky to live in this awakened state. I can't honestly remember how busy my head was before but when I hear people moaning over and over it makes me realise how lucky I am not to have the same thoughts going over and over in my head. My fear of death has completely gone. If I get triggered by something (usually my Dad) it doesn't really last and doesn't effect me at any deep level, so I recover way quicker. Things that would of triggered me before no longer have an impact on me, I generally feel that everything is all good and that everything works out just fine. My sense of self is truer and more rounded as I can see myself from outside my mind. I feel freer from my self judgements , happier on a daily basis, I feel happy is my default state. I know that I am not my mind which has taken the power of my mind away, I realise thougths are just thoughts. My focus has increased and is clearer and sharper which has impacted on just about everything I do. I achieve more faster because I can focus, I feel I can communicate from a clearer place within myself. My head is generally peaceful, I don't get triggered as often as before and if I do, get triggered I let it go way quicker than before, so the trigger rarely has much of an impact on my emotional state. My life feels my richer on every level. I am happier, calmer and more peaceful. My experience of life feels richer, my focus has increased and I achieve more quicker than before. My default emotion is happy. I feel freer as I have way less self referral thoughts, I feel everything always works out for the best so I hardly ever worry about anything, only if I get caught up in a trigger. If I get triggered its over really quickly, rarely having any significant impact on my emotional state. I realise thoughts are just thoughts and they are only coming from my conditioned mind. I am a much truer version of myself rather than before I was just behaving from my conditioning. I have experiences of No-duality but on a daily basis I feel I am dual. I have shared it with my family and a couple of friends but to be honest they are not really interested, they just glaze over and look bored. PNSE has definately become my normal state of being. It became my normal state after only a few months and I find it really hard to remember what I was like before, the only way I can remember it is when my girlfriend starts moaning and she just keeps saying the same thing over and over and then it makes me remember when I would get into a loop with my thoughts and it would repeat over and over again. I think it has been different but not better or worse to what I expected, I thought it would of felt more spiritual/mystical and "special" in some way. I think I expected an unrealistic magical experience, clearly I had been watching too many films. I lived all of my life because of my conditioning and PNSE has given me a truer experience of life. I am freer, I don't worry , I am happier, calmer, more present, more compassionate. I achieve more and faster as my focus it clear. I don't just react, I see triggers and chose not to get involved. I know that I am not my mind, I am not fearful. I am more giving and engaged in life. My family life is more or less the same except I am more aware of triggers and I chose not to get involved most of the time. My partner is easier to be with as I can clearly now see what he needs from me emotionally so I can give him what he needs soin general he actually asks for less attention. My relationship with my Father has improved and is improving all the time as I become more aware of the triggers that come up between us and in general I have way more distance emotionally from him which is a good thing. In general I feel I have a lot less in common with most of my friends, and with some I feel I have nothing in common, no-one has really noticed or at least said anything but I am seeing less of them. It would be great to meet some new people that I could connect at a deeper level with. I just don't seem tohave the motivation to listen to my friends endless stories. I rarely experience fear, I am not sure if I have experienced fear at all, since being in PNSE as I am aware even in fearful situation i.e. being near snakes I expect to feel fear but actually I don't. My health has become important to me, I spend more time on the things I enjoy, having time alone most days has become very important to me. I don't watch much TV.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 49 , Australia



“Stress, anxiety, and my wish to please others have substantially lessened. Most emotions are much less sticky. The wonder of life strikes me more often. Outside the drama of life there is no self. The major difference for me is that nothing is really any big issue. One doesn't need to get all stressed up for anything. Even the worst situation could actually a time to enjoy. Less stress, better relationships. Duality is part of life as it is perceived. But the perception is just a dance of consciousness, just as the self is. It's all the same and the realization of this is the most wonderful thing. At the same time, life and self, even if imagined, is real, and the drama and wonder it produces is what "this" is all about. It is sort of normal. As I described previously it cycles. I don't feel it cycles in and out, rather deep, not so deep. Also as I described previously my family gives the PNSE good challenge from time to time. The concept of recalling previous life is now difficult. Life is now. Recalling memories is heavily distorted by the now. I thought it would be more glorious. More different. I'd say it is quite subtle. Don't worry, life happens, it's ok. In general it has improved. We are all one and meet as one. In that regard there is no inherent tension between us. My relationship with my wife is still filled with drama from time to time, but even she has mentioned that I have changed. Co-workers say I'm positive and relaxed, a comment I did not get before. Maybe that PNSE is not a magic pill. That it is sort of the start and not the end. That there will be continuous learning/deepening. I don't experience much fear and it has lessened a whole lot since before PNSE. I have a more loose relation to work. It is not really that important. This has both negative and positive effects. Coworkers perceive me as relaxed and easy but also less serious and dependable. ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 44 , Sweden



“It is better in that everything seems just right as it is. There is deep peace and equanimity. Can't find any self. At the time of the FC my sense of self was associated with a physical feeling inside the head; when I would looked for my sense of self, I would feel it in the head. My shifts mostly consisted of a feeling of physical hollowing out inside the head and eventually opening up beyond the head and body. There came a time when I would look for the sense of self inside the head and my attention would immediately be bounced to the outside world. Still later, I was unable to look for the sense of self in the head, my attention was already open to the world, so to speak, and I wasn't able to direct attention inside the head. In summary, there has been a progressive change over about two years that I could track, a couple of dozen small but distinct shifts. Life continues to be lived but the ongoing experience is entirely different. Briefly, I would say life is simply unfolding in beingness rather than being a series of projects or struggles that I feel I have to cope with or figure out a way to work through. I may still have to work through things but I just do the "next obvious thing" and things move along. It just feels like the obvious way to live.Actually, though I consider that I'm likely nondual, I don't really know. I base my assumption on something I think you (Jeffery) said about changes in perception being a quick and dirty indicator (my words obviously). In terms of perception, I experience the world-on-the-shoulders way of perceiving or being as described in the headless way material. I have no sense of self and don't perceive a separation from other "things" (or them for each other) but I wouldn't really describe it as oneness because that term doesn't suggest itself. There is an immediacy to the world being bright, open, still, perfect, and present that seems to bypass former restrictions inherent to perception. Whether that's officially nonduality or not, it's pretty great. Yes, new normal. I have had many small but significant shifts and I settle into them quickly, a few days usually. There may also be a longer term settling in but that seems indistinguishable from deepening. My recollection of pre-PNSE life has a dream-like feel. I can recall the various incidents and supposed causes but now even the major crises and turning points seem as weightless and unimportant as a recalled dream. While I aim at being a kind and courteous person, I'm rather indifferent to how I'm received other than in the case of my wife and very few others. Most of my friends now are similar-minded people in the alumni community. I don't put much energy into maintaining relationships (inside or outside the community) that are no longer natural fits given the changes. Fear is not part of my normal experience these days, however I occasionally can feel mild sensations in the body that were previously associated with fear; I might think, "huh - the body is uneasy, how odd." Before PNSE I probably experienced average or somewhat less fear that average but within the range of normal. I'm less likely to do something I don't want to do unless it appears inevitable, in which case I just go ahead. Im no longer busily looking for things to do and I have little interest in the usual entertainment or hobbies, things I might have previously done for fun. I do little planning or thinking about the future and even less thinking about the past. I mostly exist in a state of beingness or presence and I guess Id say life just flows. I tend to do whats needed and not a lot more; I dont find that boring for the most part because it feels so natural to just be - theres no need for things to be different from whats happening right now. Im open to picking up one of my discontinued long-time hobbies again at some point but only if it just happens, not because I need or want it.”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 71 , CA, USA



“I keep being very grateful for my new way of experiencing life. I have almost never felt that life was a gift or that I was happy I had life. That it was ok to live life, but not more. Like 5.5 on a scale from 0 to 10. And now I feel that life is exciting. I feel that I am grateful for my life. Only that thing is huge to me. Yet it feels quite normal. And I feel much more happy. I appreciate things a lot more. I appreciate my friends a lot more. I see the bright side of things quite easily/automatic. Life feels more easy, not so much worry. I have always felt some kind of loneliness that I dont really feel now. I can feel lonely, but not in that kind of way. Its hard to explain. But a sense of being at home, of bring fulfilled that makes me less dependent on other people. And at the same time appreciating them more. I have a contentment. Something I never did before but now do sometimes (still not often) is to just sit. Sit and stare out the window. Just being. I think that kind of beingness is a bit part of the satisfaction and not feeling alone in the old kind of way. I feel less dependent on circumstances. Its more ok if things wont go as I plan them. I am more comfortable of giving compliments to people around me. And do it more. Being more appreciative with people around me. I like to spend time with myself more. I am a much nicer person to myself. I can really meet me where I am when I need it. I am much more accepting with life as it is. Not so interested in fantasies or anything else but the truth about how things are. If I feel into it...my sense of self feels like openness. Some identification with thoughts. If I pause and feel into it like this if definitely feels like openness, vastness, presence is what I am. Though I live my everyday life more from the place where my thoughts are I. And my body being I. The words sense of self feel a bit blurry. It's more easy, more fulfilling. Life feels more deep in itself, don't require so much depth from personal meeting since everything seems more deep. I'm kinder to myself and others. Appreciate life more. Not so stressed about future plans. More like I live in the present and try to be as true as possible there, and stay with my values there and I trust that life will follow along it's path. That what I need will be provided for me. And that however life will look in the future, it will be good and what I need. Different things about PNSE protrudes now and then. Right now I feel so blessed that I appreciate life and so much in it so much. And it feel like life is the way it should be. I very often feel gratitude and love and that is so nice :) Not being so reactive and being able to make internal choises. Being able to hold myself when triggered. Feeling relaxed about the way things are. The feeling that life is as i should be, that is a totally totally awesome perspective that comes with one. Feel more connected to life, more alive, part of life. Could go on for long...Finding home. Feeling at home. I sometimes describe it as awareness being really present and protruding in the experience. It's the most precious thing for me. Lately I have felt so grateful for it. That now I've felt so great for several months and I can hardly believe that. So I feel a lot of gratitude and it does not feel like normal since I notice it a lot. It's been quite as expectied. Maybe more happiness than I tought. I can trust life. I'm more loving and giving toward others. I'm giving pepole around me more appreciation. People seem to enjoy my company. People feel more comfortable in my presence. I feel like a blessing to my collegues at work and I get feedback from bosses on that also. That I contrubute to a friendly climate with encuragement. I feel less anxiety around my performance. I notice that I don't feel bad when others feel bad. I empatize with them but I can feel really good even when meeting people in realy trubles. I'm more focuesed. More relaxed. I'm seldom bored, but usually like what I do, that is really a difference! ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 34 , Sweden



“a permanent deeper level of peace. a permanent method/ but mainly experience to bring me back to a deeper level of peace..were there is far less anxiety. my sense of self feels as an energy field. as a flux of experience. a constant flow of information without a core. i used to live as a person going somewere. i now live as a being , being somewere. i stil want to do things and involve but there is always the background of peace, and the background of the totality. i am as much happening as totality is happening. i now have anxieties sometimes within a holding of easyness. i am generally more happy and can tap into happiness when life has kicked me out at some point. more quality of life. better relationships with others. also worse relationships with others , people see you more as a treat because of this openess, you are more rough/wild and people cant handle that. more inbalance with what you want can. i basicly can do more ( less anxiety) but i also dont want much more ( more acceptance) ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 44 , Netherlands



“Acceptance of whatever experience I may be having. The need of defending a self-image is gone. Much more aware of synchronicities as a manifestation of the evolutionary impulse. Reactiveness is totally absent. A sense that my actions are motivated by an inner impulse that is spontaneous. Thinking is not needed. Persistent awareness of inner stillness. Desire to be understood by others is completely gone. Gratitude about all experiences. More whole, with much less boundaries, with a clearer sense of purpose and living the joy in every act of service. The predominant state is calmness. Usually responses come up spontaneously and with equanimity. Being able to sense and contact other person from a loving presence free of pre-judgments. Much more mindfull of the sensorial experience. Desire to change a situation or a person is completely gone. Feeling of gratitude about all experiences. Clear perception that there is no right or wrong in everything that happens. A sense of acceptance and purpose in any experience. Clear perception that any perceived problem has a hidden lesson to be learned. Greater satisfaction enjoying simple things. Disappearance of the perception that there is a world out there that is experienced by this being separate from everything. I would call it "Being One". I would call it this way because it points to what the experience is as a whole. The loving and natural unfoldment of experience in awareness, and I am that. Being aware of awareness it is being in PNSE. My preference is to be with people with similar frequency. The level of intimacy is much greater. We can be in silence and be confortable. Much closer and loving relationship with my daughters. Open and free manifestation of tenderness and joy with them and my grandchildren. Much more empathy with my clients. No fears. It changed because in the past, I felt more comfortable with certainty.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 67 , Mexico



“Every single aspect of my being has reached an awareness of wellness, love, connection, and attention. When triggers arise (and they do) the wave of the emotion flows quickly away in fractions of the time and energy before this FC experience. I've been more creative at higher levels of skill and output. There is the capital "S" Self and a very small (lower case) self. The Self is all and absolute and yet has no central power or sense of material objectivity. There is a love Self and other parts of the physical self but these are illusions and constantly changing -- Like thoughts that are fleeting and impermanent. The Self is Compassion incarnate. Life arises in a blissful meaninglessness. Empty but chocked full of potential for creative acts of open delight. Challenges arise too, which make for interesting distractions. Sometimes angst, anger, and other emotions familiar from before arise. They feel like distant memories that flash for a period and then the witness arises and watches the whole thing like a movie. Physical things like interest in sex, or doing things for activities have diminished significantly. There is effort to participate in those things at all. In a sense I'd be happy just exploring the Hermit archetype. But as this matured, the desired to engage and be the world of compassion and love arose to give purpose to purposelessness. This arose not out of the need for recognition or success or some outcome but to simply give of oneself to one self for the Self. Agency has fallen away as patience for whatever arises grows stronger and stronger. Is-ness and suchness is always in the background, yet I can still function in the engagement and interaction as before. Like I'm living open and yet knowingly hidden behind a curtain of sorts. Free. So much of my life was driven by need to be liked or loved by others. This fell away and other aspects of perfect awareness grew and grew. The joy, energy, carefree, delight to be alive is ever present. Most of my family doesn't understand. Of course, I've been the "different" one for a while now. In the first year I shared this with everyone and really felt invested in having friends and family join the fun. The language got in the way and many just were not ready. I found people got scared more than I imagined. One co-worker started crying and explained how scary meditation was for her. She was very taken by the fact, I was "enlightened." I tried to explain what that really meant, but that word just had too much in it. I stopped using it altogether. For me, humbleness and deep connection doesn't allow much room for words that inflate. So language around these concepts can be a challenge. Also language around "why" is also a tough one. So much of western culture is about "self help" or "improvement." and this has benefits but its base reason isn't to be sexier, wealthier, or have a bigger house or car. Yes, this is my new normal. This occurred very quickly and with much jubilation. In looking back I barely remember the life prior to PNSE except for the emotions of suffering and fear. The reason, is I see it on people's face all around me. My heart bursts with love and compassion and to know that a simple shift in perspective is all it takes to ease all this in the world. And yet, the deepest part of me knows each is on their own path and that it is the collective insights of all conscious beings that arise to the calling of this awareness. I feel full of grace and blessed each day to be alive and aware. It is all that I thought it would be and more, and yet there is more on its way. Because I had glimpses, I feel it has arisen to my expectations. Yet, It exceeds them on many levels. There was sense of location 3 being the highest for me when I started the course. The great joy is the locations 4 and 5+. Life Is. For so much of the time before and during the course, I wanted to know, and often asked, what was the meaning of it all. Why, why, why? Then in location 4, no reason was the answer. Free, nothingness, empty. Then that filled with pure awareness. And the why came flooding back in for the sheer joy of it. For others. Because there is no me. Why, Indeed. If we are all one, then one element being better can't be true. But We are one like the tide in the bay. While we have the experience of being separate little boats, the tide of consciousness raises all boats no matter how big or small. One boat might be doing all it can to stay afloat, while another might be the king's yacht, but they all get impacted by the tide. I'm not a boat, I'm the water raising the tides. All my relationships have changed. I'm freer. I don't care as much about what others think of me. This is universal and changes the power structure of all the relationships I have. I'm used to being an Enneagram 2: The care giver. I'm feeling more integrated with all the Enneagram locations being represented more and more. For example, I'm not scared of saying something in a meeting at work. I'm often seen as the 'Truth Teller." I do this with compassion and love, but everyone understands the authentic nature of the observance and appreciates the honesty. Its not critical or hurtful, but it just cuts through. The folks in the room that don't want this input don't call on me to give it very often any more. Which is ok. I'm happy being quiet and waiting for the invitation to share. My ego no longer seems to need to prove a point. In my personal relationship this is interesting too. There is nothing to win. I have to remind myself to be more available in the traditional sense and give more time to just doing normal things as a couple. Especially when I'm in a hermit mode and am shifting locations for example. I feel I no longer fear in the traditional sense. I have caution. I have deeper understanding. I'm more aware of threats but less reactive to them. My fear has turned to curiosity. My fear has turned to interest. There is no me to die and death looks inviting and interesting, and when death does finally come, it will be a big, very interesting experience. In a sense, this loss of fear was the ultimate prize in this PNSE experience. It is also what I expected, having had situational peak experiences along the way with a version of Temporary ONE my whole life. I often thought God was cruel to me because I would have a brief taste of this fearless living and then it would go away. The suffering and pain of knowing the difference was very hard. I felt and often said to folks who could understand, that I felt cursed. I secretly wished I was blissfully unaware and deeply asleep like the rest of the world. Once that awakened state became permeant, I felt truly blessed. Oddly, I've never feared it going away or leaving. Even in the early days of having landed in deep, I just knew this fearless state was going to be permeant soon. Then during EC, while working on triggers, a visit to location 1 for a bit, reminded me it could. The pain and fear of narrative perspective with all its anxiety and fear and flood of thoughts came crashing against a thin protective layer in my psyche. I pulled out the list of methods from the last week of FC5 and repeated them. I thought to myself, I'll not work on triggers again. Later, back in a warm loving location 3, fearless again, I began finding the triggers process that could work without the nasty side affects. I then began to notice the fatigue issues, and that I needed to pull away from the world in lots of ways and try and find a way to stay attached at the same time. This felt like an old testament kind of request by a spiritual power. A deep call to this kind of knowledge and experience. At one point even a dialogue occurred with a hugely moving exchange. In Bhutan, I went to my teacher after a particularly moving experience. Tears streaming down my face, knowing what releasing and letting go of all to go deep into the void meant, I might leave everyone and all things behind. He could see this was not fear but love. I was letting go of love. He said, "you have choice, you don't have to do it." Yes, I did, as it was already done. My vow, was complete. I feel like I've found a place of equanimity now. Fearlessly plowing ahead, innocently without a care in the world and deeper and deeper I care for the world. I'd just assume not work outside the creative efforts of being. But I'm creating a method to do both by shifting awareness. I've also set boundaries on "demands" and saying "no" easily and with creative care. When tired, I have less patience for organizational dysfunction than I did before and I'm a sharp critic with others when in this space. Because I care not what they think of me, I give them the full load of what I think of them. I'm aware, I miss much in detail due to memory loss and I have come up with many, many creative methods to help me keep track of stuff, I promise. It is easier to do this from Location 2. But staying in Location 2 often takes too much energy and effort to be worth it. It would surprise me to still be working in a corporate setting in more than three or four years and I'm not of retirement age. What will sustain this life style is yet to arise, but I'm confident it will be as easy as what is arising right now. I wake up early. I life moment by moment unless traveling. I am more creative and effective. I love and feel more while being less triggered which makes my interactions at the coffee shop easier and less worrisome. Thank you. It is with deep love and affection I honor this work. I am grateful and full of heart centered appreciation for what this is. I'm honored and blessed to have found it and feel lucky to be inspired to act upon the call it contains. What a blessing and joy to see the community grow and to be a part of it. We are an amazing collective each "minnow" swimming along mightily being our Selves with a capital S. I gush with joy at the thought of you. So please know. I truly love you. ”

Location 5+, Male
Research Program Participant, age 57 , Washington, USA



“The most noticeable change that happened to me during the course was the diminishing of the verbal thinking, personal narrative things. There are less of them, and when they happen, I hear them way less loudly, as if the volume had been turned down. That has remained pretty stable since the end of the course, and is something that I really value. I really enjoy the emptiness that results. There are also moments when this emptiness is more present and powerful, leading to brief passages of just perception, no mind and labelling involved. Those are really great. Also, I really value a lot the knowledge gained from doing the course. It has changed my perspective about numerous important and profound questions. Im ongoing experiencing in a perceivable space thats my awareness. Solid and ongoing fundamental contentment; inside calmness; quiet mind; resilient equanimity. My life is basically the same, as I already experienced some of the benefits of transitioning before joining the course (I realized that while doing the course). It could be argued that I was in location 1 before the course, and that I just transitioned into a mild 2 location. The most noticeable change the course brought to my life was the quieting of the mind and the diminishing of the personal narratives. Also moments of pure perception, no mind, language or labelling involved. Besides, the knowledge acquired during the course has changed my perspective about important and profound matters. I would explain it this way, although maybe it could be misleading: its a lasting change of how you experience existence, which brings important benefits, such as solid general contentment, enhanced wellbeing, inner calmness, etc. I realized during the courses surveys that Ive been in Location 1 for decades. I transitioned to a mild Location 2 during the course. This means that Location 1 has been my normal since I can remember. Recognize the vast diversity of ways of experience existence. Besides broad similarities, everyone is in their own world, literally. That has made me more acceptant and understanding when interacting with people. The knowledge gained in the course has made me more acceptant and understanding when interacting with people. Thats definitely an improvement. I rarely experience fear. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 46 , Spain



“What "self" would that be? The "self" does not exist in the ways that you're asking about. Contented all the time - not phased by constant changes, seemingly positive or negative ones. Unified, easeful, easy, contented, flexible. Husband says I'm more easeful, with a sense of humor that comes out all the time. Can't really imagine what life was like before - can't honestly describe what it "felt" like to experience emotions as before. Happiness, love, peace of mind, compassion, sense of glory - each is not an emotional experience but rather is a state of being. There's a steadfastness in this experience - experiencing emotions as before will not return and there's quite a glory in that. a friend - my oldest friend in the world - passed on after FC completed. Sadness arose often which brought memories of earlier times but... don't know how to put it - "I" was not sad, or I didn't hold onto sadness in some morose or or gloomy way - instead there was the experience of sad without being sad. It's a new normal - took months and months, maybe 3/4 of a year. Can't recall it as a lived experience - can recall it as a memory - but you know how memory is - fleeting and changing depending on the moment one looks back. There was a misconception that transition would mean that triggers, habituation, conditioning, etc., would magically be gone - no so of course. The sense of acceptance of what is in the moment is so profound on a moment by moment basis - the profundity of peace in acceptance is totally unexpected. There's nothing to do, nothing to grasp after, there's being and releasing over and over, letting go into PNSE, and letting go one after another after another after another of triggers et al. With my husband, who is in Location 4+: we are closer and closer - more easeful and playful. With others with whom there are meaningful relationships: a letting go seems to have brought folks closer. Fear? During a fiery middle-of-the-night experience on Day 6 of the FC course - before the end of week 1 - was awakened and my body -the physical being - had the sense of being gripped by fear but "I" was not afraid. This has continued, much to "my" peril on a couple of occasions - when I didn't know enough to come in out of the snow - literally, driving in a snow storm at night in Maine - I probably should have gotten a motel room, but I kept driving. Only after arriving at the destination, did the body relax completely and did the mind realize the potential danger. BUT, in the end, I did arrive safely at the destination! Was warned by Ted Lemon to watch for these types of situations and work to avoid them in future. I participate more easefully in classes - used to speak with urgency and confirmed knowingness. It seems I talk with far less, maybe even no, urgency and no false sense of knowingness. A friend in class with me notes that when answering a question about the material I sound knowledgeable but not overbearing - but also not particularly warm. If someone asks a personal question or asks for a personal response, my friend notes that I answer warmly. The sense is that answering warmly is new since PNSE.”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 66 , MA, USA



“Happy, content, unruffled by many things that once upon a time bothered me. I have much less stress. I am more resourceful. I don't get upset as easily if at all. I do more observing and less reacting. I realize I have choice in every situation. I would refer to it as "waking up to/realizing" the awareness that has been with me all of my life that has never changed. No matter what is going on it is always at peace, and that this same awareness is within them and has been all of their life. There is nothing mystical or magical about it. It is who/what they are. They even still confuse me. I just prefer simple awareness, stillness, beingness. It is definitely the "new normal." It took me about three months to fully appreciate/understand what I was experiencing. I can recall life prior to O.N.E/PNSE and can tell people how I was like. I find this helpful when trying to help someone understand the benefits of a meditation practice. It hasn't been anything like I thought it would be because I was expecting some big event, not a long, slow, gradual shift. The most important lesson was that what I was searching for, I already had - There was truly "no place to go and nothing to do, but just to BE." That transitioning to PNSE could be a slow, subtle process that occurs over time rather than some big "aha" event. I certainly would have had much more appreciation for my meditation practice and the progress I had made as a result. I kept searching for the "something" that I already had. Life is much more laid back and easy going. I am not as concerned about the "to do" list of the day or how much I get done.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 73 , California, USA



“My sense of well-being has greatly improved. My story collapsed somewhere during the Finders Course and is now devoid of 99% of the emotional content. I sleep much better. I have not felt this good in years. I look forward to each day and what it might bring.....almost like a treasure hunt. I am happier than I have been in years. I love life and look forward to the adventure of it. I have a lot less internal noise and chatter. I am deeper and more contemplative....which I love, I am more open and willing to accept what comes. Definitely have more bouts of happiness. Because it is just myself and 2 small dogs, the outside life looks relatively the same. I walk more now, which we all enjoy. I love the changes....I love the peace and quiet that are now resident inside of me. I have dropped all social media and almost all TV.....don't own one anymore. Have learned how to be happy with a whole lot less. Am deeper, quieter, happier and have so much gratitude for it all. I have learned to sit and relax. I am far more contemplative. I can't stand the rush, rush of life.....I much prefer to savor what life brings. My sense of how good my life is ranks way up high and I work to keep it there. I see how we are all connected. That life is lived through each one of us and we are all in this together. I love knowing that I am a citizen of the world. I am no longer an American. Life is better than I ever thought possible. I don't even want to recall what life was like prior! It is definitely a "new normal" and one which I want to keep. It has been this way since FC has ended. I began to panic when I saw how easily I could slip back into what life had previously had been. That scared me and so I have done what it took to maintain my PNSE especially in what were really trying circumstances. All I have to do is go to my sister's house----it is an instant reminder and in about 30 minutes it is also time to leave! I have absolutely no idea what I thought it was or was going to be. For sure, it is not those things. What I am sure of is that this is the best that life has ever been. I want to keep it that way. Life can be different that what it was. It was ok but when I became a Finder.....well, I never want to go back. I am far more patient, they see it, feel it and know it; they so. My sister even told me how kind I am now. I am willing to help and go the extra mile. I reach out more and have been thanked for it. I don't use love as a tool but instead let it show and others make the choice of what to do with it. I was the fear child instead of the love child. I have a lot more faith and trust. I also have returned to my healing practices which have always helped. PNSE has been a definite help. My kids are grown and have kids of there own. I think it has gone a long way to deepening the relationships that I have with all of them for which I am grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My life has changed dramatically because of FC. I am grateful.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 67 , TX, USA



“I don't know what a self is. This body and brain function as an entity that perceives through the senses of eyes, ears, nose, tongue and touch. It goes through the motions of life and tries to align itself with its connection to all things in the best way it understands within the limits of its capabilities. I have more reliance on something else to motivate my actions. I worry less. I have no need to continue searching or practicing. I've found what it was that "I" was looking for. If you are on a "spiritual", seeking path, the Finders Course is the best way to scratch the itch. It's a new normal but it's taken a couple of years. I no longer have a spiritual identity or reason to search. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't be meditating or searching. It didn't occur to me that I would have to adjust and learn to "let go", continually and watch, so to speak, for conditioning. I didn't consider that letting go of things I loved would be an ego identity that I would lose. I guess you could say I didn't consider loving art or spirituality or my family as anything but spiritual. Because I thought that those qualities were spiritual activities and didn't count as part of the ego, they wouldn't drop away. I conceived of them spirituality and as positive activities and not part of ego. That misconception was not clear to me and an unexpected result. On the other hadn, I've lost a lot of guilt about what has happened in my life and a lot of the anger has dropped away. I feel a sense of freedom, after the shock treatment so to say, to not worry about a lot of feelings or reactions that I have. I'm no longer judgmental about them . I am still judgmental about the loss of art and family as you can tell and whining a bit. I expect the momentum of condition will diminish and "I" will grow out of it. Thus faith and grace. We are inseparable and one. My journey is guided. Trees are lovely beings.”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 70 , AZ, USA



“I am more accepting that what I am going through is simply part of the path. I always find a moment to touch my joy. wow ...... wildly present. it comes up takes over. I can see myself being a me that is false. just a game. but I am stuck in the game. i feel as if what I am doing is not the real true thing. just a habit. I can access joy. I can feel that there is an underlying well being that I can reach out and touch. I feel the game is there and this is not the real me. centeredness a coming back to well being. an acceptation of what I am going through.”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 61 , France



“I am just overall in a so much better place! First of all, my overall outlook on life has become very positive, although I am faced with several challenges in my life. But while before I felt totally overwhelmed by these challenges and my life looked more like doomed, I look at the same things and sense there has got to be a solution and there will be a solution, and that my life can be enjoyed even while these challenges still exist! I feel clearer and stronger, mostly no longer like a victim of outside circumstances but like someone who can take action to turn things around. I often feel like a current of clarity and power is flowing out of me that leads me to take action, take the right action and be assertive when necessary. I can confirm that my background sense of life has changed from fear to peace. I am less triggered: I was able to spend Christmas with my family of origin and be at peace given my history with them that is a miracle! I also have more energy and feel healthier. And I experience more synchronicities. My sense of self is spacious. A non-physical something kind of observing in the background what is going on. It is also neither thoughts nor emotions, but is aware of them. Expanded. Open. Without boundaries. My life is more enjoyable, more exciting, and everything looks more positive. The universe seems to be more friendly and help me in many small details, for example the other day. I had decided to get a cleaning lady (so I have more time for the Teacher's Program ;-) ) and was still thinking how to start looking for one. Then a woman I had recently met and found very agreeable suddenly came to me and asked: "Do you need a cleaning lady? !" I have a lot more trust that things will work out, but I also feel more clear on circumstances where I need to take action and stand up for myself. So, on the one hand, a lot of things just work out by themselves, "magically", and with others the need to take action is more felt than before. I am happier and have a lot of rich and joyful interactions with people. I feel overall attractive and comfortable in my skin. I feel like I can achieve things that I really want. An overall positive feeling about life and myself. More optimism. More clarity. More energy. Less triggers, more peace. More ease in social situations: I can just enjoy being with people, there is hardly any of the old self-referential stuff causing unease, like:"What are they thinking of me?", "Am I behaving appropiately?", "Are my clothes suitable?" More "magical feelings": There are these moments in which I walk down the street or do something else ordinary, and there is this wave of "Wow" that hits me for a few minutes, awe, wonder, magic. Some parts of it feel pretty normal, others don't. Like the sense of peace is still relatively new. Normal is for example a strong sense that things will work out, which leads me to be less empathic and understanding with friends who see a whole bunch of problems that I don't see but this sense had already developed more and more in the past years before I transitioned. That the sense I had all my life about there being more to life than the 3-D-reality, is right! Yes, it has differed from my expectations. After having the already mentioned temporary experience of what was probably Location 3 for a few days, I imagined O.N.E. to be a lot more infused with joy, love and being amazed by everything. I also imagined this strong experience of being one with everyone and everything, which I have never had. And I thought triggers would never ever occur again. In general my relationships to others have improved. I am more patient, and if things get rough, I focus on the peace inside of me instead of trying to fix and control the situation. I can let others be who they are more. As mentioned, I can be in peace while being around my parents, which is huge. I enjoy time with my friends more, but also see the challenge that I cannot connect on certain topics any more. Like last week, when one of my friends complained about the voice in her head, and I just can't take it serious, for me it's like: "Just do the Finder's Course. Problem solved!" I notice that I need less emotional support from friends and that this might lead to weakening certain friendships that have been mostly around mutual emotional problem solving. I am still having a hard time in my marriage and am not sure where this is going, there are too many triggers. At the same time, my new more relaxed self has contributed a lot to a better atmosphere in the house. With my kids there is more presence and patience and awareness on the one hand, but on the other hand less interest I would just rather spend time meditating than going to the playground or looking at the same picture books over and over. I see I need a realistic review of how much of the time I can spend with the kids and enjoy it and how much I want for "my life". Once the point is reached where I get exhausted and need a break, I can become very reactive and impatient suddenly. I experience fear in certain settings, like before having an appointment with the psychologists who are supposed to work with me and give a recommendation to court about the future parental care model for my elder daughter. The difference to before is that this fear is only in these clearly defined situations. It is not often. It passes. I can pull myself out. It is no longer an overall, lurking-in-the-background-thing. I notice that I am more relaxed about how my kids turn out long term and less worried about them getting screwed up for life, especially less worried and less guilty about how my own negative conditioning of the past might affect them in a negative way. Having found this inner peace and being, I know they have that inside of them, too, and no matter what might not be ideal in their life now or later, they can always choose to wake up and discover that fundamental wellbeing inside of them.”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 41 , Germany



“My sense of self seems to follow some sort of uncertainty principle, in that trying to describe it seems to change it, or separates me from it, or replaces it with a story, or something Struggling to answer this question has led me to hypothesize that I cant consciously experience my sense of self and think about it (articulate it) at the same time, but I know theres a sense (or concept, maybe?) of self when Im thinking about things with me in the context, because I can look back on and think about it afterward, and recognize the signs of it in the form of assumptions. When totally engaged in an activity outside of myself, I look back and see only activity and engagement, interspersed with moments of re-connection to myself as a concept (e.g. thoughts of wow, I'm on a roll!) The only way I can consciously observe/experience my sense of self directly is to suspend thought, and just be. In some ways the struggle to answer the questions correctly (or at least helpfully) while completing this survey strengthens thoughts and assumptions about me, what Im like, and, in retrospect, I am my thoughts. This is not pleasant. On the other hand, if I simply pause and step back from the questions and thoughts, I can experience what I guess is my sense of self in a pleasant way. I just am. Im not something or someone in those moments, but afterward I can look back and recognize that there was awareness. I dont take my own thoughts (or the thoughts of others) so seriously, I dont believe everything I think, and that helps me minimize or avoid patterns of negative self-talk, rationalization, and other forms of reality-twisting. The thoughts of others seem to be just that, thoughts, not truth. I don't consider myself non-dual, but I'm pretty sure I experienced a moment of non-duality, where I no longer existed as me and that everything was one. I was looking at my bookcase, and contemplating the view using a headless way technique, and then the separateness disappeared. I also feel that I can switch to a mode of viewing things around me as just "being" without meaning or significance, which for some reason seems like a mild form of the more dramatic experience. I dont feel as strong a need to correct people when I think they are working under a misconception. Im more likely to consider whether it is me who has the misconception. Even if Im fairly confident that Im right, I have the space to consider whether saying something would be helpful to either of us. I also finally have had glimpses of what it feels like to love someone (including myself) because of their flaws, not in spite of them. Ive had moments of feeling fearless, even in the face of triggers. Now I can feel fear, especially if triggered, but can often chose to experience it objectively. Less anxiety, less distracted, less bored, less overwhelmed. More likely to spontaneously seek out experiencing the moment. Sense of touch or sight...letting go of thought.”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 47 , VT, USA



“I feel less lost, more grounded, more clear, and very happy by knowing where I am at, where I am going, and how to get there. My sense of self is much larger and expanded. I feel wiser, more mature, more clear. Negative self images have disappeared i.e., worthless, guilty, etc. There is less fearfulness in my perception. I feel different in that I don't feel all the guilty and worthlessness that I did before. Less fear. There is more clarity in what is going on around me. More acceptance of others and less anger. Much more freedom. Less stress and worry. Acceptance of how things are. I describe it as coming from your best self; the part that is observing and is free rather than the one that is triggered. There is more control and confidence. No quick transitions; all is subtle. I remember how hard life use to be. Moments of depression, fear, low self esteem. It is so much better than I thought. All is OK. Much more accepting of others and including those that say negative things about me. I have become much more honest. Often, people don't like it. Appreciation. My life feels like it has finally begun. ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 62 , Idaho, USA



“Happier. Richer experience of life. My sense of self is an intensely driven character, passionate, happy, loving, trustworthy. Empty unmoving quiet perfection energetic vibration. Very little stickiness to any of it. As soon as I stop its all gone, quiet empty nothing happening its all just fine. Like the meditative state is always happening, not something that i have to do or practice. Practice is for the body mind contractions. Time to let everything unwind the conditionings and patterns. There is no distance between sound feeling seeing - separation is mind created.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 61 , Canada



“It didn't happen directly after the course, but the course did help point me in a direction, and once I found a practice/information that really helped me to remain in PNSE, my life experience changed for the better. Since being in PNSE, I do not experience emotions in terms of a personal self experience, which is remarkable because I believed myself to be a very emotional individual person previously. I have experienced very little conflict and any conflict experienced was so short lived, it is hardly worth mentioning. There is tremendous trust in the present experience, though trust isn't necessarily the most accurate term, I can't think of a different word to use at this time. There is not a sense of a thing called a self, though I can operate as that when necessary. Awareness is what I am is probably the best way to describe it. Regarding the next question, I don't remember the number system, so I can't answer that question. The number system didn't have much interest for me as I recall, so I did not pay much attention to it at the time I took the course. OK, so I can't continue without answering the number question, so I'll answer it without knowing if the answer is accurate. I am content with the present experience, so to speak. I am content with what is so there is no longer any need to seek and reject the present experience. In regular, everyday interactions, I act like a person who is the doer, and I use the language of a doer, but it is clearly seen and understood that that is not the case. Thoughts appear, decisions are made and doing happens, but they are not owned or carried out by a "me" in the conventional sense. In regular, everyday interactions, I act like time operates, but it is clearly seen that that is not the case. There is only now and now and now. It is clearly seen that there is no here and there ("over there" can only occur "here" so there can be no there and no here) - :D ), no before and after, no outside, no inside.”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 58 , CA, USA



“I have an abiding equanimity that seems to be almost unshakable. I enjoy my job again (it made me crazy before!) I feel more compassionate in interactions with others. I feel as if I'm more effective in all areas of my life, as I'm more willing to take risks, and am less concerned with what others think. I experience synchronicity regularly and it just seems as if everything works out in ways that is helpful for me. I I feel this sense of love for almost everyone and everything. I don't view my "self" in such narrow terms anymore. I don't see myself as separate and feel more of a sense of interconnectedness. The narrative used to define me, but I feel much less attached to it. I think I still, at times, I respond habitually from the "narrative" self, but I'm aware of this and it's not as real anymore. I no longer respond based on what others though of me. I felt this almost constant anxiety, that I didn't realize was there until it disappeared. I had a constant sense of inferiority, that I was't as good as others, that others didn't like me. That's almost completely gone, replaced by feelings of love and openness. My interpersonal relationships seem more "real" and less superficial. Being in PNSE frees up a lot of psychic energy that was spent worrying, planning and being anxious. I get so much more done yet still have more energy. It has become normal for me. When I experience even small amount of emotional reactivity, it is hard for me to tolerate, and I know I experienced much higher level of this prior to PNSE. It took around a year before I felt this way, As I get further away from my life pre PNSE, it gets harder to remember. I have to remind myself now, that others still experience this emotional reactivity, etc. I don't think I had many expectations, except that I was skeptical it existed. It's awesome! It just seems that "life" is so much easier than I used to believe. I tended to make things so complicated an hard for myself. I've learned how important it is to let things go. I think that PNSE has made me more empathetic and more effective in helping people. I used to feel almost a compulsion to "fix" people. Now my helping comes from a more organic less pressured place. I feel that I react to people in a more natural, less forced way. I'm able to sit with people and challenging emotions, rather than trying to fix them. When my husband struggles and takes it out on me, I'm better able to see the pain underlying things and better able to diffuse the situation. I can look people in the eyes and respond to them rather than just saying what they want to hear. People seem to be more willing to open up and share with me. I think that all the components of the program are like pieces to a puzzle. I think it's important to really work all parts. In the beginning some exercises seem a little "superficial" but end up being significant in ways that show up later. (i.e. the eulogy as fist seemed kind of weird, but I think now it helped see the "narrative self" that starts to release. I used to feel very, alone and isolated. I now feel very connected to the universe as a whole, people, life, everything. My job used to completely stress me out. I would get irritable, overwhelmed, and exhausted. I would dread coming to work, and at the end of the day would come home and sleep, eat or have a drink (or all of the above.) I actually love my work now. I've taken on extra duties and have been recognized in ways I never was before. I'm less apt to use my negative coping skills to manage my stress related to work. The course was one of the most significant things I've done/accomplished in my life. I am very grateful for it. ”

Location 3, Female
Research Program Participant, age 57 , Illinois, USA



“Freeeeedoooooom! Not taking my life too seriously. Not feeling threatened by anything. Not concerned when strong positive or negative feelings come up. Not attached to the sense of self. It is a "sense of self", part of my overall experience is the sense of self but I do not identify with it any more. It is just another thing that happens along with all of the other things that happen. The biggest clue is when I see other people suffering because they are trying to defend some self image, concerned about what might or might not happen that contradicts the agenda they have in the story they are telling themselves. All this stuff is like water off a ducks back for me now. Unfortunately it can introduce quite a communication gap when trying to help people who are very much stuck in ego land. Briefly, I am able to sacrifice the energy I would usually spend in defending my self image and redistribute that energy outwards, usually with the goal of helping others with their suffering. This often manifests as being a sounding board for people. I think the overarching theme is freedom. Exactly as it is. There is nothing special about it, no hokey-pokey. The way things are is fundamentally not separate; the way things appear seems necessarily relative. All depends on all else. Yes it has become a "new normal". This happened quite quickly after the course ended, maybe within a month or so it settled and it is hard to look back and remember what it was like before. My biggest hints are in talking to people that are struggling with ego based suffering. I know it is hard for them being stuck in that prison, but it is hard for me to relate any more apart from old memories. It made me more "genuine". I previously perhaps did not stick up for myself whereas now I am not afraid to speak my mind about controversial issues. Overall it is "better" since I am able to make decisions where I take all the information into account, less clouded by trying to protect a personal self. I am more able to appreciate other peoples feelings and give them room to express them without confusing things by fighting based on my own defense around protecting "me", the personal self. My girlfriend thinks I am a bit nuts now. Well, she already did but I have definitely ramped it up a notch. All good fun :) At work, I find it easier to just "lose" sometimes, let people "win" debates that seem to mean a lot to them. This leads to allowing people to express themselves more, which seems like a good outcome. With my family not much has changed. I have more compassion but I am torn because I feel as though people need to find their own way, so it is hard to help people without meddling. The personal "me" sense of self is optional. It is a viewpoint that you have likely never challenged. It is super liberating to realise that. It does not mean it is not there, of course it is, but knowing what the rough purpose of it is seems to be enough to prevent it from consuming your life. I still experience fear, but it is rare and I take it less seriously. I can be fearful and do the scary thing regardless rather than be paralysed by it. Fear is an important mechanism that gives you good warning signals about situations that are deemed "dangerous" by your system. Instead of ignoring or trying to get rid of these sensations, you can use them as part of your internal feedback loops. I am more willing to try out things that I am pretty sure I will not like to do. This is different than the way I would previously shut down and reject this kind of situation.”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 29 , United Kingdom



“I am a kinder, more loving and forgiving person than when I started. I am comfortable with the paradox that the self is real and not real. I live in this daily life but I am one with the everything mind. Thoughts do not have such a hold on me. Stressful thinking is transitory. I know it is all unfolding as it will and I play a role in that and I don't at the same time. I was sure of some things before and now I am sure of different things. I am kinder and lighter. I laugh and smile a lot more. There are not many lows anymore and higher highs. Everything is one. There is no separation. Separation is illusion. But a pretty powerful one. I believe it is the new normal and I believe I can remember the old way. I've learned to be more loving, forgiving and kind. I've learned of a deep peace and silence that is always there. I've learned that is my true nature. And that there is separation/distinction between me and this whole world. All relationships are better. On my part there is more softness, openness, kindness, forgiveness, and gratitude for the people in my life. It is easier to make connections with people. Less interest in news. A desire to be closer to nature. I am so glad I did FC. It was life changing for me. ”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 54 , NM, USA



“I have deepened, if you will, my understanding of presence. There is no self. All concept. There is little to no emotion. I dont care what others think. Not much of a need to do things. I guess you could say it is a new normal. Whatever that is. I can recall a previous emotional life and yet it seems so foreign to me. It was not the aha moment I thought it would be. No lights flashing etc. BE. There is no better or worse. Many people just let me be. My wife thinks I dont emote enough. My daughter, who is an adult and married, is enjoying me for who I am as is her husband. But she sometimes says I dont want Buddha, I want my father. I then explain that this is who her father is. What is to be feared, It is just this. The mind is behind, if you will, after something happens in time. So how can you fear. ”

Location 5+, Male
Research Program Participant, age 61 , PA, USA



“Consistent equanimity and non-reactivity. Nondoership is experienced throughout the day. Experiences are not extreme or up and down. Infused with a sense of wholeness . Lately am feeling a greater sense of ease, and no longer feel the need to seek out something that works better. More authentic with friends, family and strangers. No longer experience "suffering", and no longer experience triggers/blockages that get in the way of accepting what is. Non dual, as I experience it, does not exclude anything. It is very natural. It's a new normal, with ever expanding horizons. Once in location 3 and then in non duality it was downhill from there. I had no clue how glorious it could all be. Again, concepts do not do justice to liberation. Be kind to yourself, but be ruthless in uprooting the conditioning. PNSE is the beginning of authentic service to our fellowman, because only then can we begin to connect with our true nature and potential as human beings. For me "lightening up" was the key, since I was weighed down by concepts. Now I can be truly happy; and, by just being, bring hope to others. Much richer and more playful with each person encountered. Get jolts of fear when something dangerous might be about to occur. Seems to be more body reaction than anything. Never was overly fearful before, but was doing a lot of compensating to not feel it. Probably felt anger, more than fear. This may have been fear. ”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 75 , New York, USA



“More grounded, more stable PNSE. A lot of fear has disappeared which has allowed me to make significant life changes. At some level the drive for a lot of things has diminished. This creates some concern. Since it has been gradual I don't feel I've needed to adjust to it. It's really hard to recall what things were like ("how they felt"). I hope I creates fewer ripples in the pond. I have a lot more awareness and patience with the people around me and myself. Much less fearful over time. More effective as a result of less triggering and better ability to stay present.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 53 , MA, USA



“Overall, no more stress, no worries about the future, no anxiety, much happier. More aware, Happy. Living life instead of just existing. Enjoying life. More aware. Always in the Now. It has some what become normal. Im still getting used to it. I use to care and worry about things and now I dont at all. It has been much more than I expected. ”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 45 , California, USA



“I feel that my fundamental 'self' feels very loose and malleable, like a flowing presence in a way, and I feel that the 'seat of my consciousness' rests in a place that feels grounded in a sense of truth, wisdom, well-being, joy. I find myself full of sensorial pleasure on a daily basis and feel engaged with the present moment. There are no major existential anxieties, there is a deep knowledge of a profound and beautiful order and organization to things, even if momentarily I get overwhelmed or get triggered or provoked, I know underneath that the waters are steady. There is an unshakable quality to it, and I also think you're seeing and living life more as it is. Having a sense of consciousness, presence, self, or experience that feels unconfined by form in its fundamental sense. It absolutely became the new normal. Everything is OK fundamentally, there is a beautiful love-truth woven into everything, and evolution is inevitable sooner or later...AND, we need to do our work and help others. It's given me a solid ground to stand on and it's helped me see through the bullshit in my life. I think it's made me a better friend, therapist because I can let my ego go most of the time and help people with different perspectives and points of view.”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 33 , New York, USA



“The okness is much more in the forefront of my day to day experience. It was always here, just not so obviously. More peaceful. Exactly the same and entirely different. My life is the same, the experience of my life has changed. Nothing is a big deal anymore, nothing is personal. There was a time in my youth where it felt like I had one foot in one world and one in another...this was a misunderstanding. We live in a world where everything appears to be dualistic....but we are not. There are not two. All is perfect.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 63 , MA, USA



“The big impacts for me are as follows: - much more attuned to witnessing feelings and emotions come and go - like clouds passing in the sky - have become very observant of ego and ego related thoughts - action figure in the past - action figure in the future - spend much less time focused on personal story and narrative - driven by now - seem to be more focused overall - can spend hours working on projects - stopping only to eat or sleep - slowly diminishing ego - the identification as a separate self The big ideas from the course and further reading that have resonated are as follows: - we do not have to be slaves to our thoughts, feelings and emotions - we can learn to treat our egos as constructs necessary to facilitate skillful interactions and nothing more - we can learn to downplay and even ignore time wasted in "action figure" daydreaming about the future or past Still feel embodied as a separate self. Have much less attachment to the idea of a separate self. Can watch the ego and the ego voice do what it does without being so reactive. Overall, there is much more distance between thoughts, feelings and emotions. There is a clearer sense of ""witnessing"" both the action-figure and the perceptions of the action-figure in the world. There is much less emphasis on the need for the action-figure to have to do anything. The primary benefit is greater clarity brought about through the reduction of thoughts, feelings and emotions. Prior to the FC, life was filled with the regular angst of working life - much mind wandering, mental grasping and internal dialogue. Most valuable lesson - we can live without the stress induced by our internal dialogue and the related thoughts, feelings and emotions. Most valuable insight - simply that our thoughts, feelings and emotions are ephemeral and are generally not worthy of much attention. ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 62 , NY, USA



“There is on the one hand more involvement in daily matters and on the other hand Im more detached. How to explain: Im more fully engaging in whatever I do (less withdrawal) and at the same time its like watching and smiling with love to whatever is unfolding in the dream. I'm like a loving witness to what unfolds. Im more emotionally stable in instability. Example: I can act like Im angry about something wholeheartedly and at the same time there is that Smile which is witnessing that all and knows its a dream. Like Im playing the game more seriously and the difference is knowing that I play the game. Theres much more joy in Seeing clearly .... Judgments and conclusions are known to be false, and I can use them wholeheartedly knowing they are false. I describe it as seeing through the lies which are covering up the True Selve. In the story I sometimes tell I say that when coming in this world we are Oneness and open to everything, in that there is no awareness of Being there is just Being. We start with becoming aware by being separated and building negative beliefs in our interactions with the world. We need this to establish a sense of self, We need to build a Mind-Body structure (although completely a lie) to develop Awareness. Only then is it possible to go the way back to Source, to who we really are. Well, this is the short version of my story and I like to draw pictures around this process. I feel that Fundamental Wellbeing is my new normal. Its like seeing that the snake is a rope and being able to make it snake again although remembering I previously saw a snake. There is less condemning judgments and that makes me a more loving person. Although I will state more judgements then before! I state them with less importance. So Im more clear and transparent. Less fear, a lot less fear, and if theres fear there is a smile around it. Old patters kick in and I can look at them and if they are played out there is also an inbuild stop to it. Then there is a looking to the pattern, experiencing the emotions and making the same or an other choice. My expectations before I started Finders course where more naive: wanting to be enlightment, like thats a different state then living the dream. How could I have expectations about something I couldnt relate to? Now there is awareness of Source flowing through me and still experience and even more excitement in the dream, ... its so much more joyful playing the game knowing its a game. Maybe that the lie is that you need to be ignorant of the game so you play it more serious. My experience is that I now start playing more seriously the game because I know its a game. So much more fun knowing nothing can go wrong. Seeing through the fabric of the Dream makes the Dream more joyful ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 59 , Netherlands



“The energetic feeling of being one with everything that I was beginning to feel before the course has stabilized quite a bit. There is a living, breathing silence that unfolds in each moment, and this silence is restorative. Whenever I get busy or face a stressful situation in life, I can shift my attention on the silence, and the mind-body gets recharged. There is also a feeling of love and compassion that is much more in the forefront, which seems makes interaction with people richer. I am non-localized awareness. This year, Christmas felt brighter than ever before. The lights on the Christmas tree, the glimmer of the wrapping paper, the smiles on the faces of family members all had a dreamlike yet vivid quality that seemed new and fresh. I experienced the holiday without the filters of expectations, and it unfolded in a raw, spontaneous way. I feel like there is more space around everything. I used to feel like everything was very tightly wound up inside of me (thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories, projections, fears, obsessions, desires, etc) , and the objects in the world felt heavy and dense. Now, there is a lightness and spaciousness that permeates my experience. This has a de-stressing effect on the mind-body. It has become the new normal, and sometimes when I remember how I used to be, I cringe because my mode of operation was so effortful and neurotic. It's not what I thought. I was expecting big fireworks and bliss and peak experience like euphoria. It turns out to be a down to earth sense of wakefulness and love. Simply put, I'm more "here." I listen, understand, and act better than before because I'm not lost in a never ending steam of thoughts like I used to be. Tense relationships in the family have softened because I'm less reactive, and I'm able to listen to what others are saying with an open mind. I find that friends and colleagues tend to confide in me more about their challenges. I don't give brillient advise or anything, but they seem to be helped being listened to. Conditioning the mind through meditation and by doing the FC exercises really helps. I never liked regimented practices, but when they are done right and in the optimal combination, they can do wonders. I would have put more hours in the early part of the course had I known that. I don't have existential fear anymore. My work performance is better. I'm more alert and less stress. I spend more time sitting or walking or enjoying simple things with an empty mind. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 50 , San Francisco, USA



“Happy and Free. I'm a deeper, more thoughtful, caring and compassionate person naturally - I am spontaneous and joyful and I have no fear and live life as a liberated experience. Its made me own my brilliance and creative self readily and effortlessly and allowed me to feel a deep reverence and connection to life. I have very little time and space between thought and experience and what time/space I do experience is bliss-filled and I am aware that I allow it to be part of my reality in order to stay embodied and appear "normal". I didn't think about it before it happened to me - I had no idea it could happen to someone "normal" like me so all I can say is I feel extremely blessed and entirely full of grace and would never want to have lived any other life but my very own. It has been miraculous and humbling. The Divine is Real and that we are Divine - so much more than anyone could ever have hoped to be prior to awakening. I am Love Unconditioned in Any Way and as long as I embody that I am free and life is Bliss. Death is not Real - Eternity is. Miracles are our birthright. More of My True Self, which is a way better version of myself than I was dreaming previously while asleep. I am in awe of myself and of life. That I need do nothing and it is SO PERFCT. Everything changed - career, family, homes, travel, friends. Yet everything stayed the same... not easy to explain that, but it feel eternally the same. I feel I am fulfilling a contract with myself very authentically and honorably. I am impeccable with myself. People typically ask me for help, even if they don't know me. I never have superficial conversation, unless I am really intent on "hiding". I lead such a fascinating life since others are so open and candid with me. I never have a dull day, just Being. Life can be effortless, and we get in our own way without knowing it... so funny. We don't know how hard we work to maintain separateness, when it's the very thing keeping us in pain and asleep. Fundamental Wellbeing is like letting a gentle breeze carry you to peace. Rarely fear - just primal fear - like if a rock was about to fall on my head my heart might skip a beat or if I am chased by a shark or something like that my pulse might race... but no story-driven fear sticks any longer, nor feels real or important enough to entertain. I have one day that continues instead of many days... I see it all as One. Yes... I love your giving, caring heart Jeffrey. You are an outstanding human being and you magnetize wonderful souls. I appreciate you SO MUCH! LOVE to you always!”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 63 , Massachusetts, USA



“Life is just flowing along...Less influenced by ego and less attached to material objects. Greatly simplified lifestyle.there's no sense of self (small s) and it's difficult to pin down in words my sense of Self (big S) other than it's just spaciousness...Freedom. Freedom from being driven by the ego. Freedom from worrying about what others might think about what I do. Freedom from the flood of emotions...Although there's perception happening in the appearances of duality. That stuff is just going on. But, even with all that, there's an intuitive sense that there's no separation. It's all just one. For example, when I look out the window and see my neighbor walk by with their dog there's no sense of them and me. Even though I may greet them and enjoy the excitement of the dog my 'inner world' recognizes them as just an appearance in the spaciousness that I am...I'm much closer to my wife. I have fewer "friends" as I'm less likely to spend any time with complainers. I don't feel the need to be around others...I'm not moved to tell others what they should or should not do...I am”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 67 , NC, USA



“Persistent awareness. Persistent awareness of Awareness. Persistent perspective of Awareness. And, as such, thoughts, feelings, sensations take their place as mere ripples on the surface of Awareness. There isnt much of a sense of self. What there is is just what needs doing. Any sense of self is dwarfed by the ocean of Awareness out of which it has arisen. In virtually every moment, there is seeing with and through Awarenesss eyes. That is what has become persistent. Even if/when a thought or feeling hooks attention, there is still the assurance of the presence of Awareness at the same time. A knowing that it is always here, even if and when thought or sleep distracts from it. Calm. Ease. Non-grasping. Flow. Acceptance. Allowing. Surrender. Life just flows along and one goes with the flow. Not as a separate self in the flow, but just as the Flow Itself. Lately, words just dont seem to do it justice. And yet, that can be a fun challenge: trying to articulate that which cannot be articulated. The planet becomes one big meditation cushion. It has become a new normal. Hallelujah! I think i realized this over the first few months post FC. It is somewhat difficult to recall ones prior life, but there was much more emotional longing or yearning and the voice of the inner critic was persuasive and tormenting at times. All of that is gone. Well, there may still be emotional ups and downs, but they are all part of the flow of life and the come and go just as do all the other contents of Awareness. In some ways it is more ordinary that perhaps expected. Ordinary everyday here and now just this. Its as though the extraordinary is ordinary and the ordinary is extraordinary. No fireworks needed. Awareness/Consciousness/Enlightnement is not an object or something to attain. It is the one and only subject through which all is experienced. It is the ground of Being from which everything arises and returns to. Not much fear at all, if any but it had decreased before FC due to other spiritual pursuits. PNSE certainly seals the deal.”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 65 , Canada



“I have basically lost the inner critic voice. This has freed myself up to be me. I don't have the anxiety and the lack of confidence that i had associated with a constant inner critic and the churning of past and future projections going on in my head. A lot of the hard edges that I had on the definition of who i was are reducing. I am much more experiential in my engagement with life rather than controlling. I am much less controlling over others and the 'outside world' than i used to be. I used to try to control almost all environments that i was in due to some perceived risk in the situation that i thought that i was reducing if i tried to control it. It is barely there in the sense of a separate being that i wrote stories about prior to the FC itself. I just see manifestations of it arising with triggers and conditioning that is unresolved. But my sense of self has largely dissolved. I feel much more connected than i ever have been. There is basically no inner dialogue - mostly music or silence filling that space. I am less critical of myself now, much more accepting of 'me'. i am much less critical of others and more accepting of 'others'. i am much more exploratory and experiential in how i engage with the world, or more like flow in the majority of times. it is much freer, and yet very different (and a bit amusing) to see the world as it was for me continuing on beside me now with the dialogues that people have and the lack of awareness and the self / ego talking that occurs. I can much more clearly see the false I that i put together and the impacts that this has on my existence and journey. I am much much less attached to everything and this is a stabilising and calming impact on me. I am much more engaged in life and get a lot more out of almost everything as i am present and out of my head. I am out of my head and experiencing life much more fully than i ever did before. I feel like i am stationary and that when i more around it is the world moving through my consciously not me moving within the world. When I walk it feel more like i am stationary and the world is moving through my. It feels like i am just moving through different parts of a wider awareness. I feel an absolute connection with the external world, there is a distinct lack of separation. It can be strong with some things like nature, water, sky, open space, than in buildings etc. It does not really feel like i am a body as such in this state buy that i am more just the consciousness embodied in my body at the moment, must not forever. I don't feel a birth and death type connection to my body.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 50 , Australia



“Greater equilibrium. Greater insight, pleasure, depth of perspective, acceptance of limitations and or normal experience that doesn't actually need to be different. Less defensive, more equilibrium, at peace with things that can't be changed, still a healthy sense of things that can be. I'm more and more content with doing less and less. Oneness = noneness = funness.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 37 , New York, USA



“Being able to experience myself as not a separate thing...helps a lot when dealing with negative situations that would've been overwhelming by giving a sense of separation. There's never any crushing boredom anymore or fear of it because one can zoom to any level of detail and find the whole world of experience to enjoy. It feels like the whole mental universe is a blank canvas upon which I can paint whatever I want. Before I felt like I was the self. Now it's almost as if it's something I see alongside the world. I experience it experiencing the world. Some issues in my life like my injury were absolutely crushing to my moment to moment thinking and mood. I was really stuck in a rut watching lots of TV to get my mind off of it. I really been unshackled from that and have been able to move my life in a more positive direction and free out myself from thinking about it all the time I'm able to let go of things that really got under my skin much easier. I'm really able to see through a lot of things that I assumed were rigid fundamental concepts of reality. Things that were concrete I now see as assumptions underpinning a filtered view of reality. Appreciation and the ability to unwind and deconstruct every sensory experience and concept into raw see here and feel is incredibly powerful in terms of breaking free of constraining thoughts and being tossed around by emotional turmoil. I think the falling away of the ego and need for status allows me to be more authentic and forgiving. I can lose arguments with grace which is a huge thing for relationships and helping people. This allows massive understanding of people and greater empathy. Seeing that things that were so concrete are just assumptions allows me to see how other people can be so stuck in one viewpoint and to not be angry about it but rather just to understand that's their reality right now and it's right for them and that it shouldn't be denied whereas before I would try to change their thoughts and be angry that they couldn't understand something in the same way that I could. I experience much less fear. When I do I can usually deconstruct it and see just the body sensations that the word fear describes. Most of my fears like death and not living up to my potential or not finding a mate have pretty much vanished. To me it feels like I experience the world and this body/self both as contents of consciousness, not the body/self experiencing the world. More like experiencing this body experiencing the world as well as experiencing the world. There's just one window which things show up in and sometimes it's more body and sometimes it's more world but always one window frame. I would probably use the words awakening or enlightenment simply because there are more well known. I also like stream entry. I would describe it as realizing you're not the thing you think you are but the clear empty container that contains it. Total freedom. It's definitely very different than what I was expecting. I think no matter how many times you explain that it's not a psychedelic peak experience that expectation is always there for someone trying to get into it. Simply due to the pop-culture impression of it. I find that I'm more likely to just go along with anything and enjoy whatever I do. I spend much less time distracted and whittling time away watching TV and I do more productive things now. Loved the course.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 19 , PA, USA



“I am not under the illusion of there being something to get, that exists in a time outside of now. Everything that can be done or attained is only here and now. I am present and grounded in the present. I am more sensitive to suffering. I exhibit clairvoyance. Others appear and ask for guidance. I rely on inner guidance (even if it moves towards an apparent outer form)- rather than blindly on what appears as outer form. Confidence in own experience as ultimate guide. A vision of complete clarity and freedom from suffering. Even though actions arise that are clearly based on a belief in separate-selfhood, experience itself is seamless arising and dissolution in the only Self there is. Language is spontaneous, and i've noticed that it's actually painful and dull to speak from rehashed concepts. That which streams spontaneously out of feelings of compassion are the best. I am sensitive to the other's appearance and feeling tone to navigate the language and topic. Poems are the most direct expression it seems to me , and i share them freely. It is hard to recall prior reality. There was a period where the appearance of memory was shockingly unreal and there was a sense of disbelief in any sort of continuity. However, that has fortunately faded away, and there is a trust now in the relative appearance of continuity. I recall the pain of seeking. This being the new normal was instant from the first awakening experience and continuous. Experience is seamless. The world-self arises from concepts. What I am is indestructible and love. What I am is also relative and changing. I am more present. More relaxed. A lot more relaxed. I am more calm. Relative me is infinitely more patient. I no longer experience very much fear. Sometimes the body reacts with fear, in dangerous situations. FC has changed everything for this relative being, and that I am so very very grateful.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 43 , Canada



“I don't suffer hardly at all anymore, I don't have a lot of desires. For the most part I feel that my life is good enough so I don't have perpetual striving as before or even boredom. I still encounter difficulties but I have more self-confidence and the ability to self-regulate to handle most difficulties and even make decisions on my own. I think I'm a better parent. I'm less of a people-pleaser than I was before so I feel that I'm living more authentically. My moods and thinking patterns are less dependent on external circumstances. I don't feel so attached to the things I used to be attached to so I don't suffer as much. I'm also not as easily manipulated because I don't have attachments. I'm more emotionally stable. Stuff doesn't really bother me. I feel like everything is going to be ok or even work in my favour most of the time. Up to this point I understand it as the only true reality is love, anything else is an illusion once brought to truth one sees only love. PNSE has become the new normal. It's like a baseline and if I veer too far off track then I spend the time trying to re-calibrate. I can't remember specifically how life was before but sometimes I can experience other people (especially my family) and remember sort of what it was like. A lot of resisting the present moment, always striving, planning and thinking about the next thing. It's definitely a lot simpler than I expected and so completely different from my expectations. I'm not sure I believed it was possible for me before. I am more psychologically and emotionally stable than I used to be so I can approach conflict in a much more cooperative or even collaborative way. I am much less concerned with the image that I present to the world so I can be more authentic and honest with people. I also feel more self-empowered which is a healthy example for my children.I no longer depend on my relationships with people for any part of my self-worth. I have better boundaries with my family. I have fewer relationships in general but the ones I do have are deeper and more sincere. My life runs more efficiently I think because my mind runs more efficiently.”

Location 3, Female
Research Program Participant, age 36 , Canada



“I have much reduced mental narrative since taking the Finders Course. Whilst I am still reactive, I have had much less reactivity. I have dealt better with stressful situations. I have a felt sense of calm and spaciousness, which has come into my life since the middle of the Finders Course. I have a really supportive Finders Course group to talk to and give support to. We are a close knit group, even though most of us haven't met each other. Living in the now as opposed to living in the past or future. Sense of peace. pnse is the new normal, this continued from the finders course on. My prior emotional life was more prone to mood swings and mental narrative, but it is hard to recall in detail. I gained the ability to be a witness to my emotions and to what is going on around me, so that I can choose to be an active participant if I want. It made me aware that there is so much more to our existence that just doing or acheiving. That I am not my thoughts, beliefs and opinions. I very much appreciate the work of Jeffery and the Finders Course support group.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 57 , Canada



“I'm in a persistent state of mild dissociation in a good way. I started the course depressed and anxious. I am decidedly not depressed, nor have I been for several months. I'm certainly still dealing with a mild to moderate anxiety disorder, but the anxiety usually feels like "someone else's" anxiety. The ruminative loop has been unplugged, and the intensity has been dialed down significantly. It no longer feels like "I" have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety simply arises, and although it is painful and distracting, I can usually push it into the background rather easily and move on with my day as though it were a companion rather than a dictator. I live with more purpose and clarity now. My purpose has become to clarify the nature of my own intentions and decision-making. Why do I do what I do, and what are the consequences? Who do I want to be? Who will I become if I do/don't perform this/that action? How do I "purify" my intentions over time in order to shape a healthier mind? If self was once a solid pane of glass through which consciousness "looked" upon phenomena, awakening occurred when the window of self was lightly tapped with a hammer. The self did not break, but cracks formed all throughout. Each new shape in the glass of self which the adjoining cracks created represent aspects of self. The delusion of a monolithic self was overcome; now it is clear that the self is many processes which each momentarily experience and interpret reality in their own unique manners. The view of the reality beyond the window is largely unhindered by these thin cracks in the self, but now it's clear when I'm looking at the world through one of the shapes in the cracked pane, and it's obvious which aspect I'm looking through. I know the shape and character of the aspect simply by seeing the light of reality pass through it into consciousness. There is no universal character to self, merely an ever-changing, momentary perspective on what is being experienced. As such, I take very few things personally anymore. Most experiences are intuitively understood as being impersonal, and whichever aspect of self happens to offer its perspective in the moment wasn't a choice of mine, just happenstance. So my own reactions to phenomena are also clearly not a choice of mine, and thus self-recrimination has reduced dramatically. I consider myself to have easy access to nonduality, and for several weeks during FC10, I was frequently experiencing nondual consciousness without effort. Now, I almost always have to put in effort to access nonduality, but it's often there in some form when I want it so long as the conditions I'm in aren't too distracting. I have experienced it at many depths, so it would take a very long time to describe the spectrum I've slid along. But the best metric I can think of which is universal to all of these depths is that the "seat of consciousness" seems to morph along this spectrum from a single point of pure ego-self on the one extreme of total duality into a totally boundless, locationless, ownerless, and absolutely holistic and inclusive awareness on the other extreme of total nonduality. I like describing it to people as a fundamental change in the mind's reality model. I use the example of being convinced of something in a debate or argument. When the person with the other perspective makes an argument which really sinks in and changes your own perspective, you can feel your entire mind turn over as your paradigm changes. Neural networks which were once disparate somehow connect, and you can feel this new perspective integrate with existing information. All information which is relevant to the shift in perspective will integrate with it over time. Shifting into PNSE is almost identical to that process. You "convince" yourself of a new perspective by consciously observing it. The difference, however, is that you cannot be convinced of anything more fundamental or all-encompassing that the perspectives which induce PNSE. So rather than "relevant information" being integrated with the new perspective found in PNSE, *everything* in the mind becomes integrated with it, so *everything* changes in the nature of your experience. People who have not awoken seem to understand this analogy when I explain it to them. It took just under a month to gradually transition into Location 1 using the Group Awareness Exercise and around another 6 weeks to stabilize it. It is an enormous gift. I suppose I had no idea what to expect and had been romanced by the many poetic descriptions of it I had read. I'm not constantly levitating. I have no apparent rainbow aura. I can't enlighten people by touching them. Life is as complicated as it has ever been, perhaps more so. And yet, I have an enormous amount of hope and and internal locus of control which, although not always inductive of inner peace, provide a feeling that if everything isn't "ok" right now, it always will be soon. That there is no constant, monolithic, unchanging self. Absolutely everything is merely perspective, and the nature of perspective is that it can be changed and that it's never the whole picture. As such, the nature of consciousness can always be changed and it is never a perfect representation of absolute reality. The inherent lesson is that because everything is illusory, you can relax and not take your current perspective on things as absolute. It isn't, so any suffering your present perspective brings is a result of taking the perspective as absolute, as reality itself. To the degree this reflex can be avoided, any sense of suffering or existential dissatisfaction will not arise. I understand now why I have always said, done, and thought anything at all. That's not to say that my understanding is some sort of attributive omniscience. Rather, it can be boiled down to a simple, universal rule: everything action has always been performed out of an effort to assuage some desire which arose within the limited and delusive perspective of the ego-self. Once I saw the ego-self as a set of interconnected and dynamic processes rather than my own identity, I stopped being so harsh on myself for behaving it certain ways. Not only that, because I saw the ego-self as dynamic, I knew it could be changed and because I saw it as a set of interconnected processes, I knew that by altering what was input into the processes, I could change the output of the entire system. The most useful realization of all, however, was that *everyone's* mind works the same way. I don't treat people as unchanging, monolithic personalities anymore. Everyone is subject to and able to change, without exception. Much compassion arises from this intuitive understanding of myself and others. I feel as though I now have a sort of intuition that can best be described as emotional intelligence which I didn't used to have. I love engaging with these emotions of others and doing my best to ease the negative ones and amplify the positive, and the feedback I get is usually affirmative. Family members, friends, and so on notice the changes as well, and many have commented on them without me prompting anything from them. This is the most important feedback I've gotten from my spiritual practice in general. I'm clearly of more use to others. I feel more human than ever. I'm far more focused on what is occurring in my mind. I now see that everything is really internally generated, so although I still have "issues" to resolve as far as externally-based attachment goes, I'm under no illusion that the external world holds any vestige of existential salvation whatsoever. I feel at home and confident in my mind, even when my mind is at times a seemingly negative place to reside. Thank you for putting together Finders Course. It was immensely beneficial for me and has been a large contributor to the solid foundation on which my spiritual practice now rests.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 30 , SC, USA



“I'm more aware when the mind/ego/emotions takes over. I'm more conscious of my inner world. A different version reality exists in terms of perception and there is more to it. I'm more mindful. I'm not my mind or emotions.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 39 , IA, USA



“Reluctance to claim non duality or awareness is gone. Awareness of a self (I exist) comes and goes, but no egoic self. Modivaters to achieve, accomplish shot to hell. Things still get done but nothing taken seriously, like it really matters. Where and who I hang with is far more selective. More relaxed, accepting, non-judgmental. Greater quietness. At peace. There is a sense that there is truth. I am eternal and seem to live as if I am eternal. There is seldom an upset and very temp when it occurs. There are no problems in my world. There is a temporary truth chosen as a tool to function in the world that is set down when no longer needed. I generally refer to it as we are not our body or mind, but an undefinable spiritual being. Something greater than our body or mind. And we change by undoing our belief system. It is the new normal. So much simpler that I expected. So much easier. I thought there would be more bliss and greater clarity of doing what is right. More people want to be around me. I am more attractive to others. They know I am different and they don't know why. I seem to gravitate toward people and places that have an openness. Son and grandchildren relationships are still solid, but no dependency needs on either side. My 15 year relationship with my life partner continues to change as we both grow and change. Different paths, full support for each other. Same oneness. Other than a physical fear, snake or skunk, I probably experienced fear 4 times in the past 2 years. Twice I had to do deeper into it release. Twice I could just laugh at it and it fell away.”

Location 5+, Male
Research Program Participant, age 79 , California, USA



“It i just getting better all of the time, the level of peace, joy, love, gratitude and flowing with life has no end to its depening. Effortless being. It has been so long and it is hard to remember how it was living like me before. No more background anxiety, overwhelming peace, synchronicities life in total flow of giving and receiving, zero struggle, so much love and peace in all situations. Effortless being plus healing abilities for other people. Oneness, vastness, no separation, an emptiness filled with everything. All efforts to control a situation make life more complicated/painful and everything is already in divine order, allow, trust and I learned what love really is. It moved me from being a Type-A personality to be highly compassionate and caring as an automatic consequence. People always comment that they feel so peaceful, relaxed even when stressed, when they are around me/talk to me. I don't need anything from anyone and there is a lot of love; I noticed in the past most interactions were about me impressing "others" including my family now there is just beigness, openess and love. Fear of rejection or about what other people are thinking that has totally fallen away. Generally quite fearless hence trying new hobbies like paddle surf boarding in the ocean or swimming in open waters; at night when an unforeseen noise pops up out of the blue in the middle of the night my body is startled but goes back to peaceful immediately. Thank you for being you Jeffery and doing what you do! ”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 43 , UK



“It has broadened my understanding and experience on many levels. Particularly increased intuition. Also, gratitude, guidance from source/higher self. My sense of self is that of being an aspect of God in physical form. I am living in a continued awareness of my connection to a larger source and in a space of exceptional gratitude. I find that I have a lot fewer people where I live with whom I can have meaningful conversations. I really don't have any expectations. I try to remain open to whatever happens next. I feel that when one is operating at a higher vibration than those around him/her, there is a powerful positive influence on the environment and everyone/everything in it. It is a continuing, wonderful process.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 74 , Washington, USA



“There is an ongoing experience of fundamental wellbeing that is pervasive, deep and extraordinary. I feel awake, alive, aware, full of joy, compassion, and most of all, gratitude. There is a deep sense of peacefulness and stillness inside that is palpable to those closest to me. There are almost no negative thoughts or emotions, certainly none that are sticky. My husband, whos been a barometer for me throughout these courses, is a wonderful man, and the less wonderful parts of his personality have pretty much no effect on me anymore. My life is full of gratitude, excitement, joy, wonder, love, satisfaction, fullness and emptiness. Oneness. In my core or maybe Im in the core of Oneness its all one thing so the words, the descriptions, dont matter. Gone are the old feelings of anxiety, loneliness, emptiness, worry, agitation, need for approval, self-critical mental chatter. Gone are the thought-streams from the past and the worries about the future. To be fair, I am not in some perfect zone without a single uncomfortable or negative thing. But when such life events/thoughts/feelings occur, its like a bubble rising to the surface of a serene lake, and the bubble simply pops as its exposed to air, quite silently, quite seamlessly. Its there and its gone. I feel happier than ever before in my life, and I was very happy before I started my first FC. I no longer have anxiety (dont wake up with the knot in my stomach that has dogged me for years, despite klonopin and therapy), more inner peace than ever before in my life. Im not experiencing the existential loneliness Id been feeling before, or the related emptiness (I have a different kind of emptiness now!). I'm more in the present, more confident, not worried about future. My sleep is better and deeper. There's no mental chatter and definitely no self-critical chatter. I am occasionally reactive to my husband, but less often, and I recover almost immediately. There is no "me" anymore. Don't know where that went, don't care. There's no "doer" either - things seem to get done, choices seem to get made, and sometimes there's just sitting on the couch in quiet stillness. The memory is pretty labile; can remember the past when prompted but lose the train of conversation often, and laugh when that happens. There is a background of unshakable peace no matter what arises. Everything is simply as it is. There is no sense of "self." There is a felt sense of something beyond the "self" (though using the word beyond implies time/space which mostly don't seem to exist except for when they do). Live totally in the present, no negative emotions (no emotions other than the feelings of joy, compassion, gratitude, wonder, awe, and a sense of love that is broader/bigger and quite different from anything before), no stories, no grasping, nothing sticky, nothing pushing from the old ego, everything is perfect as it is even though the world and its goings-on can be seen which generate compassion and even laughter. Everything flows, things get done (or not), plans get made and followed (or not) without doing or planning. Visual changes are interesting: a wide-angle lens happens, technicolor 3D happens. No more anxiety, worry, need for approval, self-critical thought (not much thought, period), the body is relaxed unless it isn't (vomiting, for example, was an amazing experience in which it was noticed that there was excitement happening physiologically, wonder and awe at the happenings of the body). The benefits are extraordinary and unparalleled, though none of this is thought about or mused upon. The sense of freedom and liberation is majestic - this applies to everyone as well. People are just as free to be as they are. "I" is gone. Something or nothing is here. No doer. There are eyes that see, smells are smelled, things are felt in a tactile sense. Consciousness is everything. The material world is a dream, and the one who used to be is part of that dream, is a dream character, which is fun to notice. The whole dream is a hoot! It's the new normal. Extraordinarily ordinary. Maybe took 6 months after the last transition. Hard to accurately recall the prior emotional life. On occasion, an old friend or family member refers to a difficult time in the past and it is remembered, though without any emotion. It seems that memory is hooked to emotion a lot. Had no expectations. Never considered wanting it or getting it. But PNSE is everything, consciousness is everything, who could have expected that? Everything is perfect just the way it is. No fear. Big change!! After the transition, I relished time alone in a big way. I started spending a couple of months alone in our vacation house, husband would visit weekends. Huge house. No fear whatsoever. Vague memory of being alone anywhere and having a knife in bed with me. How funny! No fear of future, no fear of death, no fear of illness, no fear of pain/loss. No need to please people the way I used to. No need for approval. So sometimes I do whatever and sometimes I don't, whatever arises. Children are grown. Oldest son turned me on to FC and is in Loc 4. My relationship with grandkids is full of wonder and awe, feel like a child being with them, so much more present and joyful. Much less social. Alone more. Always the ever-present stillness and peace, wellbeing, equanimity. Permeates everything from driving to eating to conversations. Don't get upset about anything. Nothing irritates me. Don't try, don't grasp, give up expectations, surrender to what is.”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 72 , MA, USA



“Less anxiety, identifying with inner stillness and undifferentiated silence, greater focus on the heart center, moving from actor to witness, being acted on rather than acting, in connection with lots of non-physical help, much more joyful, deepening of what were already great family relationships, sense of safety in the world, contentment. Most importantly I seldom entertain that old pervading sense of anxiety that was extremely attached to the question of how "I" am doing in the world. I was always doing everything I could to avoid being criticized and when a critique came my way, it stung far more than it should have. I always seemed to carry a knot in my stomach and was hounded by the notion that I could never do enough or perform well enough. Of course the inner voice kept track of all this and made sure I never strayed too far from the treadmill. After FC, all that is almost completely gone. I also seem to be able to tune into a full body sense of repose. I no longer need to be the central actor, but more and more, I am seeing the world unfold effortlessly. Opportunities, ideas, and the right people seem to come to me without my encouragement. I have a much greater sense of safety in the world. The inner voice is more silent than not and I can focus on the task in front of me without a "divided mind." The narrative self has stopped having to carry the burden of being in control of a life that it was uniquely ill-equipped to direct. This has led to a much more expansive sense of freedom as the narrative self has traded that burden of control for the posture of being a witness to the awe of creation. Instead of fighting against time, there is a relaxation into the wonder of timing as life unfolds into one synchronicity after another. I am much more choosy about what I get involved in and I have little resistance to saying "no." I get the sense that there is a whirlwind around me, but I am not affected by it. Throughout most of my lifeI have felt an excruciating internal split between the physical and nonphysical worlds. I am now experiencing a unity at a number of levels: my dream life, my meditational life, my waking life, my creative life, my nonphysical and physicals relationships, my body and the world, and more. All of these are intertwining and muiually reinforcing. For me, it has been a movement away from the thought-driven, heroic- striving, emotionally-reactive, inner-voice-fixated narrative self to an expansive internal freedom that arises from a vast inner silence. Where once I was an alien filled with anxiety, I am now at home in a world brimming with safety and wonder.”

Location 3, Male
Research Program Participant, age 67 , FL, USA



“Simply trusting in my self, or the universe, which are ultimately one and the same. Work and money are flowing more easily as more relationships of mutual respect are manifesting easily. Emotions still arise in the moment, but are becoming more ephemeral, carrying almost no story with them, and disappearing quickly. Near-zero emotional turmoil. Simple Presence. When some anxiety did arise after some recent financial challenges, it was more amenable to inquiry, and dissipated within a few days. Peacefulness even in the face of difficulty. Moments of joy and gratitude arising spontaneously. Much easier access to flow states, individually and in collaboration. A sense of separate self still arises, but carries much less weight, and largely disappears when "doing nothing". This feels like a new normal. "I" still experience emotional triggers, so it's not hard to hold understanding and compassion for prior selves, and current facets of self (e.g. the ongoing body, and other people). The relationship with my partner is deepening. Some friends and family have noticed more distance on my part - mostly those who still enjoy drama. Other friends have noticed deepening of our relationship - those who are on their own paths of inquiry. Professional relationships are smoother, as I am more discerning, more present, and more clear. Almost no fear on emotional levels. Some concern on practical levels. Compare this to the anxiety, resistance and internal conflict I had prior to FC! Discernment is much easier with people. Pretty quickly it becomes clear if I can honestly help. If not, I can say no without guilt. If so, I can dive in. Compare that to past patterns of burnout and resentment...My whole body is tingling right now. That happens a lot. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 56 , CA, USA



“Not fused with my emotions. Not being the whole Rebecka project. Relaxed in my body, so much more alive and present to the moment. Calmer, nothings at stake. Basking in love. Amness, beingness, mix of observer and life force. It's hard to describe”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age 37 , Sweden



“Released of a lot/most triggering reactions. Even if there are reactions now, I can easily recognize them and release them quickly. Pretty much live in a state of living meditation in daily life. Acceptance of what arises as it arises. Freedom from caring about earthly hostilities, hatred, politics, judgment, analysis, or labeling. Freedom from being drawn into debates or discussions about who is right or wrong. Seem to be living in a higher consciousness/cosmic perspective where most things dont really matter in the scheme of things. Seeing the absolute perfection and beauty and completeness of everything, even what would normally be labeled as bad. Paradoxically, living with positive emotions as a default is in itself a label. Finding a LOT of paradoxes in life these days, but dont try to analyze or figure it outjust accept the hilariousness of it all. A higher communion/completeness/oneness with what I term Universal God Consciousness. A totality/clarity of that Oneness. Going into non-symbolic territory here. Freedom of Being. Without judgments, analysis, labeling. Life flows effortlessly, arising & falling away of thought, beliefs, triggers. Living from a meditative, zoomed out way of Being. Synchronicity & the recognition of how often things happen in a Universe-supported life. Living an ordinary life in an extraordinary way of Being. No longer seeking, but still finding. Extreme wellbeing, positive flow of life just as it is. Infinite patience. Seeing the beauty in the smallest things. Experiencing infinite gratitude, again for the smallest things. Recognizing the life in everything, from people to rocks to trees to sky to stars to animals, birdsEVERYTHING. Spiritual evolution ongoing, realizing there are infinite levels to Awakening/Consciousness/Spirit. The beauty and perfection of not knowing. The sense that there is only oneness, completeness, totality, interconnectedness. It's a new normal. After 3-4 months of bliss/euphoria, it settled into the new normal. I think I can accurately recall what came before it, but it never really arises that I think about it. I think more in terms of spiritual evolution, and I think I have evolved since PNSE. I'm a better person in the manner of kindness, patience, loss of judgment, compassion, and empathy. With acceptance of what is, and what arises, my relationships are less reactive to things that used to trigger reactions. One relationship in particular, a pain-in-the-ass sister-in-law, used to be impossible; now it is what it is, and nothing she does bothers me in any way. I observe the behavior, and am neutral and non-reactive. She eventually gives up trying to provoke a reaction, which is just her nature. Equanimity rules! ”

Location 5+, Female
Research Program Participant, age , TX, USA



“I feel like I have a persistent connection to awareness and bliss. This often in the background or forgotten, but always there. Finding the connection to PSNE was always a goal in my life. I feel I have reached that goal, although the path and work continue. There is a sense of global awareness and bliss, just in the background. There is always the backgroupd feeling of everything being "OK". I am more content and more attentive. There are many times when I think I am the individual and act that way, but there are also many times when I dwell and explore the vast ocean of awareness in which I move and am moved. I am much more at peace with the world and myself. I feel that I am on the right track and moving forward with what I want. My life has meaning, and life is an adventure. I feel connected and everything is often OK. I have frequent experiences of being immediately in the present, just now, moment by moment. The entire universe is in this moment and it feels like a gigantic wave with irresistible momentum. There is only the present moment which is forever changing. There cannot be anything else, not past or future in that moment. It is overwhelming and blissful. O.N.E. has become the "new normal" for me. This occurred gradually as experiences of awakening increased from weekly to daily. I have been on a spiritual path for over 30 years so, in hindsight, I can see that I experienced temporary Fundamental Wellbeing for the first time in 1992 and had such experiences once or twice a year at meditation retreats. It was always a goal but I never seemed to have any control over the process. ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 68 , MA, USA



“I have a new and broader context for thinking about the idea of a spiritual path and finding one that fits you in the current moment. This has allowed me to learn more from "other paths" that aren't my direct path and to see my path in more places. My mind is calmer, I am happier, I am able to think more clearly and logically. It is liberating not to be thrown into reacting to situations. I don't think there are things that exist "out there" in my world that aren't a result of the causes I have put into place in the past. I would say it is the new normal. I don't recall any great detail about the time before, but that's mostly because I rarely thing about it in detail. I can recall thinking a very long time ago, that I'm very glad my life isn't like it used to be. I still think that way and am very grateful for the progress I have made. Generally fearless. I am generally happy to do what makes others happy. And I am happy doing whatever others want to do, so they are happy, I am happy. Generally happier, more peaceful and successful. ”

Location 5+, Male
Research Program Participant, age 56 , Massachusets, USA



“Greater clarity, greater sense of power. Greater integration of all of my human (eventually, once i understood my tendencies towards spiritual bypassing to a sufficient degree and once i suffered enough). Flexible. I can quite easily "be" a person, or engage as though I am a person, and find myself doing this most of the time. It's quite rewarding to zoom far into person-ness and fully express this being's person-ness, in all of his shittiness and all of his loveliness. It's also really easy for me to zoom out and see that there's no person. There's just what this is and I don't "understand" it it just is and it's deliciously mysterious. But also totally not a big deal. There are patterns and ways of seeing and habits of energy expression, some of it is "me" and I tend to identify with it, and some of it is "not me" and I tend not to identify with it. The difference between what is "me" and "not me" seems to be a sense of embodiment. I can zoom out into feeling the entire everything as an embodiment, but my natural and relaxed experience of embodiment is around this person. My ongoing narrative is less important to me, and it's easier, way easier, to focus on the thing right in front of me, and just be here with it. Compared to before, there's a LOT less anxiety. I still get anxious and judgmental and depressed but it's just not a big deal any more, it's just the that which is happening. So I don't get anxious about my anxiety or depressed about my depression or judge about my judgmental ness. They're all just modes of energy movement, and have something they need to do, so I basically let them do it. Life is just clearer and makes more sense, while not making sense at all. I have an intuitive understanding of my connection to everything, which helps me make better and more meaningful decisions. Also, self authorship, or maybe just self-love would be a better way of putting it, is way easier because I can step out of this self with ease and love the parts of him that are awkward from a place that can see it and not just be obfuscated and confused by the pattern. Life is just clearer and makes more sense, while not making sense at all. I have an intuitive understanding of my connection to everything, which helps me make better and more meaningful decisions. Also, self authorship, or maybe just self-love would be a better way of putting it, is way easier because I can step out of this self with ease and love the parts of him that are awkward from a place that can see it and not just be obfuscated and confused by the pattern. It took a while to become a new normal, but now that it is I don't have to spend energy on checking if it's where i am or pointlessly asserting my awareness . I... now that i think about it I'm not sure I can really recall what it was like before. I know a lot of people who are not "awake", and it's easy for me to "get" them, but actually now that I think about it I can't remember what it was like to not be "awake." Vaguely... there are parts that were exactly the same and that's easy. I'm not in charge, it's not about me, "i'm" just here to be part of something I don't and can't understand, but I know when "I'm" on and in the groove of it, and when "I'm" not. It'a just made it easier to love myself and the world, and from that place there's much more acceptance - including of my own non-acceptance. I'm also WAY more perceptive. I'd use the word "psychic" but I'm no sure if that actually describes it. My closest relationships were very strained by my transition. My partner and I broke up shortly after my awakening (we're best friends now, which is a better arrangement for us anyway). My former best friend and I have a more strained relationship, but that just makes sense. He values structure a lot, and it took me a long time post-awakening to figure out how to do structure again. My family and I are closer though. I'm more patient with them, and curious about their world. My chief collaborator and I have a richer relationship, based partly on our shared interest in the mysterious. In ALL of these cases, there were things that HAD TO CHANGE to find a new equilibrium, and the change always had a quality of violence to it. I love you, Jeffery.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 32 , TX, USA



“much easier to let go of stuff. things do not stick. much quieter inside which continues to grow. minimal sense of self and ability to connect and the joy of exploring and going deeper. less effort, more ease, more ability to let things be how they are, my relationships feel more fulfilling and I can often connect surprizingly deeply with even strangers. less reactive - more content - more loving. its much easier to live with my partner and do things which please her - which makes my life better - its a bit like making love - it you focus on the partners needs and pleasure - it directly benefits you. they let me do what I like at work - within the confines of my role. I can relate and connect to people more easily and on a deeper level. it keeps getting deeper and deeper. I'm grateful for being part of this and look forward to deepening with the years. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, England



“I still have this overall sense of well being, even though I am not actively practicing. But over the last couple of weeks, it seems to be wearing off and I am having some low times. There is still a sense of trust and wellbeing, of peace. Less self thoughts and more thoughts of others. Not as self-centered, self-concerned, angry, unhappy, ambitious, mistrusting, etc. It wiped out or subdued my negative emotions and opened my heart. Fewer triggers and outbursts. Basically a trust that things will be okay, even we they don't seem to be. To trust and accept, to surrender. A subtle, nonconceptual, non discursive center/consciousness that is my essence, connected to all other essences on a common frequency.I think it has been everything I thought it would be. It is much different than my expectations, but then everything is always different than we imagine it initially to be. I would definitely recommend FC. It is effective, it is structured, it isn't dogmatic or associated with one spiritual path/religion, it allows the person to individualize their practice, it screens for psychological issues, it is ethical, it is supportive, etc. Just speaking in generalities; I would recommend it to anyone searching for purpose/path/meaning in life. ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 63 , AZ, USA



“I no longer believe there is a self. There is stillness, love, awe, joy, ease. I am more in the flow and at ease. I am both dual and non-dual. Non-dual in the sense that everything is unified and non-dual in that "I" am a particular process manifesting. It is about a shift in perception that I can choose. ”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 76 , Massachusetts, USA



“I had an awakening very early in the course, and I live in oneness (most of the time), not as a separate self. I experience happiness, peaceful, and living more in present awareness rather than ego. My interests have changed, for instance, very little TV watching. Was once a political junky, now I have no interest. Much less stress, acceptance of what is! A oneness, not separation. Let go,and be. We are awareness. There is no good or bad, etc. All these manifestations come into being with an appearance of separate objects, but there are no separate objects. There is no matter, just awareness. It's the new normal. It came gradually, but the profound awakening did it. I can accurately recall my life before it. Awareness is right here right now. It was before any manifestations. We never were born and we never die. just BE! More loving caring. Accept what is, no stressful situations. I totally enjoyed the FC course. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 68 , MN, USA



“I have zero monkey mind. My mind is so much quieter. I'm able to sit and do nothing now so much better. No preoccupation. Rarely if ever worry about the future or lament the past. Descriptions of my mystical experience are so unbelievable I think most people cant even comprehend what I told them. Its the new normal. 2 years. I barely remember what my past emotional life was like, but I remember it being generally very poor. Thanks for doing this.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 44 , CA, USA



“I now have foundational wellbeing, a lot less fear. And purpose to develop my mediations skills and PNSE more. I would describe my sense of self as quiet, still and spacious. There is an inner stillness, and everything seems to happen by its self. No worry, anxiety, and emotional freedom. Freedom. It feels like new normal and I don't have inclination to reflect backwards. It was not what I thought it to be. I had no idea it was a so ordinary state of consciousness before. I'm a ore loving, responsible person now, and a lot more present. Much more alert, awake and driven at work. Everything seems to flow. I'm super sharp all the time. Everything is much easier, flows and is still.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 34 , Sweden



“Life is the same but the experience of it is beautiful, due to less suffering or angst I imagine. A gentleness of seeing, no need to control, at ease ness, low stress, its all good... Hakuna Matatta:-) A being at ease with life and even minor outbursts from the character self.... as Krishnamurti put it: I dont mind what happens... I have a nonlocal distributed wholeness sense of self - a sense of someone who still feels like a me but not identified with it in any way... its just emerging from wholeness as well... The identification with a self or self identity has been gone for well over a year. Whats left is a sense of just seeing, seeing from wholeness, no me, just this.... any description is wrong... I resonate with Darryl Bailleys description that its all just a mysterious happening, undefinable, un-known, beautiful and ugly but sublimely right. I normally will say that my experience of life has become a state of being at ease with whats happening. And that theres an orientation to being an expression of wholeness rather than identified as an individual. Usually thats as much as folks are interested in! Without my pushing or reacting most days, theres a lot more harmony. Im the space for the us to unfold a bit more gently I think... with my daughter, my partner, mother and friends - its all good. Im very grateful for the time and effort put into the program. ”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 52 , CA, USA



“What's changed, for starters -my health: taking action, eating habits, finding the right supplements -the relationship with myself is becoming phenomenal: self compassion and love and equanimity punctuate my life. I feel whole and complete in myself and no longer chase or seek a romantic relationship as any sort of solution to some drive inside of me. -I am no longer a "push over", even if it is not so graceful - my finances are starting to flow, they have doubled....taking me out of a very scary time of poverty. Still a ways to go, but getting there! Clients seem to find me out of the blue sometimes -I was given an amazing deal on buying a used car from a friend and a week later my old car just caught on fire and burned up. no one was hurt and I was not mad that I was out the money I would have gotten in reselling it. - I am no longer depressed/ anxious - I have clarity about who I am and what I am doing here on this plant and peace about it - I inhabit my body - I am very clear that I want to live in an expanded state of awareness AND be functional and connected in the world - AND I can and will find a way to that with practices, experimenting and allowing - I have become more fearless and closer to stepping into leadership and creating my life as I want it I'd describe my current sense of self as a: Paradox, Multifaceted, Peaceful, Dynamic, Unanimous, Inspired, Certain, Facile, Gentle, Hard, Spacious, Clear, Expanded, Sometimes contracted. My circumstances have not all changed but I have. I am comfortable with most everything all the time and when I am not, I come back to peace rather quickly. I recognize my mastery in my life and am able to call upon my wisdom freely. Life is not longer coming at me, but I am engaged in creating my life as I want it. I have more access to my essential self and that of others. I have access to compassion and peace. Equanitmity and action. Clarity and understanding. Strength and power arise to simply be myself and do what I am drawn to do and be at peace with times and places where that is not possible. Mastery has begun to shine and people are enjoying how healthy my psyche appears to be.... because I am INTERNALLY SOURCED. I am sourced from a place now that is unlimited in it supply, boundless. and I have a REAL relationship with this in my experience. I am able to be generous in ways I could not before, to speak in ways I could not before, to act in ways I could not act before. I OWN who I create myself to be and it seems most people want that. I am becoming fearless. Fundamental Wellbeing happened relatively fast after week 6 of FC it musta started. Peaking to my noticing around week 11. I did not have an ahaha moment at all. I do recall how anxious and stressed out I was prior to this. Totally. I am more functional and available to others and myself. Becoming outspoken and ready to share my gifts despite whatever trauma or fears I may have had. I am also an amazing transmitter of the LOVE field and can really rock a persons world with my simple aspect of presence. This invokes their presence to come forward as it feels safe to be seen. As well as to have them feel held in a healing and warm loving presence. This is a part of my gift. I have become more patient and present to my kids and aware of how precious our time together is. This was hands down the most transformational and practical and joy producing course I have every taken. this course gave me access to something I had been seeking within myself my whole life..... ”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 46 , California, USA



“I am clearer about what I, in fact, experience. My critical, doubtful mind is not so dominant any more. I am not as worried.I have relaxed about the whole endeavor. I am ok whatever. I am less critical of myself and others. It is normal now. I can recall my previous life and am glad where I am today. I am less self-centered. I love family and friends and (most) people, in general. Have developed a sense of humor I have not had very much. Life is beautiful. I feel closer to everyone. My relationship to my children, grandchildren, friends, and acquaintances is very good. I like people. I wish I could go back 20-30 years , then my relationships with all of my colleagues would have been better and I would have had more understanding. I know that now. Now I know what the "I Am That I Am", and what "you are already there" really means. Much less fear! Nearly none, none of the psychological/existential fear anyway. I am a little easier with everything . What I do depends on the need of the moment. Thanks for everything! Very appreciative! ”

Location 1, Female
Research Program Participant, age 81, OR, USA



“My general sense of well-being has markedly increased. In particular a substantial reduction in reaction to negative situations, which continues to be surprising. I have memories of how I'd used to react but there isn't a need for that anymore. Dealing with stress is a lot easier; less people pleasing, less need to have certain outcomes at work and accepting life on life's terms. A general increase in the level of peace around everyday events. Things feel as if they are working out as they should without interference. Also, product marketing doesn't seem to work like it did, not drawn in by advertising claims as the feeling of lack is mostly gone. There isn't a boundary at the surface of my skin. All of the colours, sounds, smells, feelings come from One place. Life is definitely better with a large reduction in reaction to negative events. In some instances, this is un-nerving to those around me who are expecting a reaction; and have found that I need to make up a reaction sometimes to fit in. So there is MUCH less drama to the point where a whole series of things can go 'wrong' and I can still feel like I'm having a great day. Even the 'wrongness' of things seems fine like they're not wrong anyway; there is just what happened. There is just so much less internal struggling and controlling to make things a certain way. The mental energy that was being expended prior to PNSE was enormous. I am able to see negative self-talk in real time and question it straight away. What is going on here? Is that true or not? Separation is a mental trick. Inner spaciousness is right here and now - there isn't an Other. 'Other' people are living that experience also, whether they are consciously noticing it or not. PNSE is the new normal and that probably was happening right from the transition point but with ever-increasing deepening occurring post the transition. I am able to recall events of the past accurately but the associated feelings and thoughts seem like objects now. Almost like the feelings and thoughts that were arising made sense for the way Simon was at that time. It seems like such a natural process now compared to the feeling that it was something to hold up on a pedestal (and hence strive for). Jeffery's book made it so plain and understandable. It's so simple really and there's no need to strive, in fact not possible to get there by striving. There is only finding. Being kind to myself and to others is a very worthwhile past time. There is a greater level of trust that has been built up. I've noticed this in my relationship with my wife but also work colleagues. People feel so much safer when you're not reacting negatively to events. I'll often boost people's confidence by saying it's all ok and you did really well despite what just happened. The non-attachment to outcomes is not commonly available to people so I'm able to bring that to people's lives. It's pretty awesome really. There's been a marked shift away from needing to please everyone or needing people to like me. This has been very helpful and a few friendships have gone or changed because of it. There isn't the same attachment to needing approval prior to the transition to PNSE. Thanks for putting this course together; what an amazing ride. I hope that many more individuals can come to be Finders Course graduates.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 47 , Australia



“Peaceful most of the time. Happier most of the time. Less prone to emotions (+ve or -ve). Equanimous towards life events. Better relations with people. Life feels great, enjoy living in the moment, no expectations or disappointments, general and constant feeling of positivity. Relationship has improved. Negative feelings like boredom, anxiety etc has almost become zero. I am able to move on from things easily. There is no expectations that something good needs to happen to me. Have no dislike towards people. I'm not non-dual. But my sense of self is very soft and I can temporarily lose it when I focus on my awareness. I want to explain what I am experiencing. I really haven't found an effective way of describing. The most effective way is in the negative e.g. no longer have anxiety, no longer fearful, no longer emotional etc. It is the new normal. It happened over a period and I cannot pinpoint exactly when. Probably just after the first phase of FC. I cannot recall how I felt prior to ONE, but I remember certain incidents when I had a major negative feeling (anger, anxiety) and know that the same triggers no longer produce the same result. I was expecting some kind of a miraculous "awakening". So much so, I did not notice that I was gradually changing even as I was expecting something to happen. What was super-important before no longer appear to be so. How I treat people has become a lot better. For my immediate relations I'm very relaxed, accepting, do not have the same feeling of love but deeply caring, less pushy or demanding. At work I maintain a professional "facade". Sometimes have to fake it. But less judgemental about people and a lot less prone to triggers. For everyone else I'm friendly, open and less interested in them. I am no longer anxious about my own mortality, things like money or security or fear of rejection/not being accepted etc. I don't get triggered, get angry or upset. I still say what is on my mind and sometimes forcefully. But I don't lose my equanimity over it. I have changed from being driven and doing things, to letting things unfold and go with the flow. ”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 53 , Australia



“Since the big shift recently happened I find it very hard to describe it. In one word it is much more relaxed. It's very hard to put into words right now. There is only one thing happening right now. No cause and effect, no time and no self.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 49 , Germany



“Way more aware of my happiness, okayness and the distance to fulness, in real-time. Way more aware of what can throw me off-balance, high-stress, exhaustion, lack of embodiment practice. I would describe my sense of self as vast, expanded, everchanging, flexible, sharp, focused, deep, imperturbable and yet capable of witnessing enormous movements of energy. I have more access to parts of myself that are beyond what language can capture. Access to subtle energy tracking, It's a whole new HD experience of living I'm more than a body, some resources accessible through awareness are in infinite quantity. There's a calm, grounded, happy presence that emerge whenever I relax into the silence. It feels like being a fuller human, having the "REAL" human full-scale pre-installed & activated, unfolding of being. Infinite creativity, infinite places inside to explore and discover, merging more and more with nature. ”

Location 5+, Male
Research Program Participant, age 37 , France



“I am present most of the day. That makes a day seem very long, which is great. I am not lost in my head, and I am generally in a great, often ecstatically great mood. Things do not bother me as much. Extreme fatigue or low blood sugar can depress this. Overall, I consider this something of a minor miracle. My sense of self is more my experience. I wear ME like a shirt to deal with others. I spend my long days moving around through my experience doing what needs to be done, effortlessly it seems, and finding time to watch the clouds go by. There is a rich experience that I never had before, but the most important thing seems to be that I am out of my head almost all day, and every day seems 4 days long compared to before. For me it is a profound sense of Presence, or Being here now in this moment, usually with a feeling of great stillness. So, I would call it being here now. It has become the new normal for me, but evolved over two years, so I saw it working on me and happening in slow motion. I remember before if I try, but I don't think about it. I do not see the point. The world isn't what I thought my whole life. I suspected, but didn't know. Knowing is different than thinking. I see it as a process...I found my practice at the end of the course, and it came to this...I feel only gratitude. Less fearful. Fewer thoughts. Big change there...hadn't thought about it...too busy watching the way light plays on a leaf. Everything is pretty fascinating now. I am more agreeable to new things, change, requests from loved ones than before. If I do not want to do something, I hold my ground. I loved Finders. It was invaluable to me personally and I will be forever grateful...thank you.”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 66 , CO, USA



“I'm more present. Have a much more profound connection to nature. I'm more dis-identified from feelings, though I still experience them. I'm in general more calm, resilient and have greater self-compassion. My sense of self is more loose, I experience myself more as "a process." I always know that things are okay, exactly as they should be, even if they're uncomfortable. I have greater feeling of freedom. I see things/people life more clearly. I make fewer judgments/evaluations of myself and others. I experience myself mostly as energy/consciousness. I can observe myself as if I'm in a reality tv show, having reactions/feeling, etc. But this isn't the whole of me or the "real" me. I think I've experienced flashes of PNSE at a number of other times in my life. And yes, I can recall my prior emotional life. I'd say the "new normal" took a while to integrate. Several months where I felt a bit like I was bouncing back and forth. I'm more present to the hear and now and less dogmatic and attached to things/ideas/events. I'm more resilient in relationships. I'm more attuned to others. I've been able to do deeper work with my clients. I'm more calm, see the world through an expanded lens. And in general life is more dynamic, while still being calm.”

Location 2, Female
Research Program Participant, age 45 , CA, USA



“I am awareness, gelling a story and buying into it much of the time. I am learning to see that story for what it really is. I would describe it as becoming aware of the constant background of awareness, as opposed to the temporary activity that the mind engages in. I suppose PNSE is a new normal. It happened during the course, starting about mid-way through. I can certainly recall my life before PNSE, although I don't want to if I don't have to. PNSE is marketed as something amazing. I am sure this helps recruit people, but I eventually learned to let go of all expectations. I think that I had created very high expectations for profound experiences. I did not have experiences that were as profound as what I had expected, but I did re-connect with profound experiences from earlier in my life. Nowadays, I think this stuff is remarkably mundane and obvious. It is "closer than close. " I think this attitude helps. The mind creates a lot of noise, and it needs to be toned down. I laugh a little more. I am less angry and resentful. I am less stressed out. I am more friendly towards others. Work is less stressful. I am quick to notice when I am being "triggered" into a bad place. When it happens, I seem to have a bag of tricks that brings me back to a stable place. This includes a number of ways to help me sink into the present moment. I am aware of how my mind creates a reality that is not the same as what is really happening right now. I still struggle with some social anxiety, and being generally overwhelmed with responsibilities as a father of two who also takes care of his mother. I try to be stoic about it all, and do what I can while also trying my best to remain in the present moment. It is not easy to balance these two things - getting things done while remaining in the present. Also, the course helped me to better understand some altered states of awareness I experienced as a pre-teen and teen, by giving me a language to explain it all. I think the Finder's Course is great, and I am still very interested Dr. Martin's research. I have been placed on a path that I believe in, and I believe I will deepen into awareness. I appreciate Dr. Martin creating a community for us all, I feel that this is VERY important, and I look forward to meeting FC Alumni online. ”

Location 1, Male
Research Program Participant, age 55 , VA, USA



“Improved health, emotions, much more ease and joy, significantly reduced worry and daily stress...better physical health and better food choices. Better self-care. Much better financial health and wealth. More honesty with the reality of life situations. Strong sense of awareness experiencing all of life...personality is simply a mechanism that arises and seems important from time to time, then drops away. I am the experiencer, the witness, the watcher. so much more ease and effortless living... life seems now to rise up to meet me, take care of the tough stuff, and leaves "me" free to enjoy and play with ever I am doing. More fun. Very little attachment to particular places, homes, countries, dreams, etc...love, love, love, -- also a very direct access to subconscious processes... feel like the communication between the conscious mind and desires, is much more open and free - almost a gentle dance between these aspects of the body/mind...I am both non-dual and dual - depending on where attention is focused.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 14 , MD, USA



“I never worry, I can flow through a large and varied workload without stress. Super patient. Enhanced intuition. Happy with whatever is happening, but still seem to get things done effortlessly. I have a family who are happier and less reactive. Our family business has cranked up, seemingly without effort, or problems. My personal life situation seems "worse" in the eyes of others. I have taken on the role of caring for my elderly, incontinent in laws, who also have dementia. Along with a major role in the family business, I am busy with daily life, but never feel resentful or tired. Life is always fresh. Others feel sorry for me....and I am surprised at their reaction, because it is like I am in love with my life. Life is now effortless, and I am in love with my life. My sense of self is not so personal. I still use the word "I" a lot, but it is somehow impersonal. When I place my attention on my breathing or a feeling inside, I notice that it is not a part of me, it is just a happening. On the odd occasion when I am drawn in to an emotional "story" I can readily pull back and see that the emotion and the story are just happenings. Physically - most of the time - I am weightless inside. Crazy - since I have put on a couple of kilos in the last few years of meditating! Whatever my sense of self is now..... I spend most of my time - when not on work oriented tasks- enjoying the wonder of what is happening now and what is going to happen next......I can't actually pinpoint who is doing that. Extraordinary patience, seem to know the right thing to do without thinking about it. Each moment is fresh so I can answer my forgetful, mother in laws repeated questions with out getting frustrated. My body gets tired but my perception of the world is always fresh. I am almost totally non reactive so my family has become more non reactive too this was a surprising benefitmy alcoholic husband is drinking way less and complains that my mumbo jumbo is rubbing off on him! When I try to find a defining separateness between me (whatever that is) and others or other things I cant find it. Mostly I experience Physical weightlessness in an empty space with a blissful joyous flavour. PNSE is definitely my new norm. I am not sure that I can accurately remember my prior experiences. Luckily I didnt have any expectations of what I would uncover, I was on some other journey of discovery. I (the ego/personality/story) naively thought I was going to learn manifestation, and have everything I wanted and be happy because of it. What transpired was a subtle, esoteric and yet obvious way to perceive the world, so powerful, but such a non event that I couldnt possibly have had any concept of it. I had no framework, not developed enough to perceive. I was like a new born baby expecting to know what it was like to walk and talk. Hard work is required initially....like learning to write with your non dominant hand! Once mastered, life becomes effortless. There is no judgement of others which allows them to just be, without the pressure of anothers judgment. I have amazing patience which allows me to stay with tasks , and caring for others that would previously have bored me or tired me. I am only limited now by physical tiredness. No energy is wasted on anxiety or second guessing situations, so there is always energy there for others. My delight with the world seems to be infecting others, rather than annoying them...go figure, I think the old me would have got annoyed with the new me. I feel that I am affecting those around me. My husband was initially angry and upset at me learning this Mumbo jumbo Three years later he appreciates the changes in me. He is no longer a volatile problem drinker. He still drinks, but a lot less and is calm and way less reactive to me and others. He feels confidant that he can behave however he needs to without my judgement. I have two teenage step sons and they are very lucky to have me as a step mum. They verbalise this often. I am a non judgmental buffer between them and their father. I don't pass judgement on them and will give advise when asked or when the time is right. My love for them is not controlling or suffocating, just general caring and they know I am there for them consistently. My elder sister has a quiet respect and appreciation for me these days. I have taken charge of some family situations and seen them through to a better situation for everyone...as much to my surprise as hers! My daughters are benefitting from my relaxed lack of judgement. They have matured from my letting go and show signs of wanting to know more about the changes in their mother...ha but not enough to actually put daily effort into meditation. My elderly, incontinent and senile in-laws have unexpectedly moved into our home and I am their main caregiver. They are relaxed and calm when I am with them...they werent always so when with others. Our family business has grown and we have employed new staff. I was able to see clearly at interview which applicants would suit the position, and the existing staff are rolling with the new workload. Fear seems to have dropped away, heights, spiders, what others think of me, new social situations. These have all been tested and have reduced right down to a tiny shadow of fear. I havent of course tested the one about death, but when contemplating my own death or that of others I cant say I have any fear. Thank you from the bottom of my heart - wherever that is xxxxx...”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 59 , New Zealand



“Happier. More able to let go of stuff. More able to be present moment-to-moment. A more peaceful life. A clearer sense of something useful, though I can't name it and don't really care to name it. Suffering occurs more and more rarely and is more and more fascinating and educational each time it occurs. There is an ease in life, most of the time. There is more trust that things will work out, most of the time. The unfolding is a lot more fun to watch. It seems corny to say so, but it seems I could die happy at any moment which is to say I desire such an event, only that I have a clear sense that is the biggest benefit as I used to fear life, dying, and death. Two down, one to go. I have had non-dual experiences but am not interested in pursuing that as an on-going experience. If that happens, fine and if not, that's fine too. I'm happier, more effective at what I do, and enjoy life more as a result of taking FC. I love the people I use to hate. It's hard to have a poor relationship with them now. I'm closer to those I chose to spend time with. I'm more present when I'm present and more loving in a way that can be perceived.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 56 , SD, USA



“Less narrative, less decision making, things go with the flow. There isless thinking. Removed anxiety. I am part of everything. Shift in consciousness. It is the new normal. I am more sensitive to people close to me. Very little judgement occurs. Things just flow.”

Location 2, Male
Research Program Participant, age 71 , Canada



“I have experienced a tremendous upswing of gratitude for my life and all the loving relationships I have cherished. My sense of self has changed from a "false self" to the Real Self. The benefit of O.N.E/PNSE is a dropping away of a small self and an awareness of a more transcendent true self. I consider myself in a state of Pure Awareness all the time. Since transitioning into PNSE my heart has opened into much more meaningful and fulfilling relationships and my life has more meaning and purpose. O.N.E./PNSE has become my "new normal" which occurred after a year. My prior emotional life is a distant memory. O.N.E./PNSE has been much more than I had expected it would be since thoughts and words cannot adequately describe the experience. The experience of unitive consciousness, non-duality, and pure awareness have been the most valuable lessons. I have become a 'better person" in so many ways as a result of O.N.E./PNSE. I have been able to integrate more completely my humanity with my spirituality. All my relationships have become more loving and meaningful as a result of PNSE. I wish I had know how positively my whole life would be affected during or by the end of FC and prior to PNSE. My experience of fear is almost gone. I have become more empathetic with those who want me to do something. I seem to see the request better from their perspective. I have deepened my loving relationship with my children and grandchildren since taking FC and EC. Please make the Finders Course available to everyone and continue to transform our world one person at a time.”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 73 , Georgia, USA



“Am much more present, have a lot more joy, much more connected to world, self, others. Experience huge beauty around me. Often the totality swallows me. Am very grateful. Too much to mention. Mostly equanimus, sense of intensity about life, lots of synchronicity, little agency, things just seem to happen. Sense of being blessed. Feelings very bland / often nonexistent. Things just are. Often a sense of beauty and perfection about the world. Whatever happens is just what happens. Suffering has gone. Needs have mostly gone. Solitude is great. Rarely triggered. If triggered with big stuff the experience subsides quickly. Mostly a kind of no-self experience. Things just happen. Much fewer thoughts. Much less reactive. Very peaceful and joyous. Social fears have mostly gone. Am much more present. Used to be very fearful. Has pretty much gone. Huge peace in daily life.”

Location 4, Male
Research Program Participant, age 64 , New Zealand



“I finnally understood myself. I'm the ocean. Don't get involved in emotional situations. Can see clearly what is happenning. Can act more promptly when things get harder. More and more I see myself as part of the Universe. One with plants, animals, earth, people. As I always say I'm not a frop in the ocean, I'm the ocean. I have no fear. Of course one must take precaution when in certain situations. But that insane fear out of nothing doesn't exist for me.”

Location 4, Female
Research Program Participant, age 66 , Brazil

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